Wednesday, May 13, 2009

you're not my friend

'You're not my friend' is what Jacob said to me tonight after supper. Then he promptly walked away to play with his toys on his own. I tried not to laugh out loud because it was kind of cute how he said it so matter of factly. He wasn't getting his way and when I wouldn't give in that is what he said. I was actually impressed by the logic of his thought process. I'll take not being his friend over a tantrum any day. I've never heard him say that before. He might have picked up that line from one of his friends at daycare today.

I may come under criticism with what I am about to say but I don't believe in parents being friends with their children. A parent's job is to parent. I see too many kids in our neighbourhood walk all over their parents acting like spoiled brats because the parents are so afraid of being disliked by their children. No child, especially a toddler inherently dislikes their parents. We are their world. We can teach and guide them to exist in a world where there is love and boundaries. Or we can teach them that it's ok to manipulate to get what they want. The tail does not wag the dog. I do not tolerate children whining, hitting, screaming, or shouting. Jacob knows how to push my buttons but he also knows that my No's mean heck No. The end. All the whining in the world won't budge me. I don't believe in spanking but I do believe in good old fashioned manners. I think we are over permissive as a society these days, including the legal system but that is another topic for another day.

I may not be Jacob's 'friend' tonight but I will always be his mother.

It is so exciting to watch him grow.

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