Wednesday, May 6, 2009

slowing down to smile

I am a colour-within-the-lines kind a gal. I like punctuality, neatness, order, efficiency, and speed. Routine is my security blanket. That's why I love the paramilitary organization of the fire department. There is a policy and procedure for everything from the correct way to charge a radio battery to how to doff your breathing apparatus. There is even a policy on proper handwashing technique. There is a place for everything and a binder to tell you where things go if you've forgotten. Heaven help you if it's your shift that has put the stethescope in the wrong pocket of the medical bag. I, unfortunately have carried over some of the regimented way of doing things to home but now that I have children, I see the necessity of becoming a bit more laid back. I don't want soldiers for children. I want to nurture creative spirits. I've been so preoccupied with running the household that I didn't notice my baby girl cut her first teeth today. It was my husband who pointed it out to me. I need to stop and be present with my kids instead of worrying about some mundane thing. Before I know it they will be all grown up. So I am trying to see the world from a child's point of view. Children don't complicate things like adults do... like I do. They don't have rules or policies. I love that Jacob mixes all his playdough colours into one big glob with reckless abandon. He could care less about aesthetics and neatness. He is about having fun. Which is what I need to think about these days. So today I said screw the chores and just played. And let Jacob ride his tricycle to daycare even though it took us forever as he inspected every ant, twig, tulip along the way. He is a good influence on me and because of him I have become less of a stick-in-the-mud. He has changed me in the best of ways. He is a child who could get even the toughest of firefighters to fingerpaint with him in his guacomole. He is just that kind of endearing kid. And I am so blessed to be his mama.

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