Monday, May 4, 2009

my heart, my soul

It's interesting how two children borne of the same parents can be so different.

Apart from Jacob being a boy and Maiya being a girl, they are like night and day. Jacob gave me hints of his personality when he was still in the womb... he never stopped moving or kicking. On that hot summer day when I went into labour, it took a long and hard 21 hours to meet him. I birthed him naturally at home as planned although there were moments when I thought that I wouldn't be able to. On the other hand, even in the womb Maiya was easy-going... she never kicked but instead, she wiggled. Her birth was less than 4 hours and it was so easy I didn't even know I was in real labour until the midwife arrived racing to our home at which point I was already at 9.5 centimetres. Out Maiya popped 45 minutes later and nursed hungrily and efficiently. She only nurses to eat and sucks her thumb to sleep. It took weeks for Jacob to latch. When he finally did, he would nurse literally for hours, day and night... He did not suck his thumb for I was the human pacifier.

Jacob is really my son... by this I mean he is stubborn and strong-willed like me. Gets cranky when underfed and overtired, is a maniac if he doesn't get enough fresh air and exercise, and gets overemotional and dramatic when he doesn't get his way. I know these traits came from me for it's like looking in a mirror some days.

Maiya takes after my husband. She is calm, gentle, and easy-going and can wait patiently until I have the hands free to nurse her, change her, or play with her. When she is overtired she just waits until I can put her down and she falls right to sleep, thumb in her mouth. She is content to sit and play on her own. She is Daddy's girl.

I am grateful for Maiya because it has been so easy to raise her. Maybe second babies know how exhausted the mother is. Jacob requires much more creative parenting but I am also grateful for him because the buttons that he pushes in me challenges me to grow to be a better parent and a more patient person.

Jacob is my heart. Up until the minute he was born I did not know what unconditional love was. There are days when I lose my patience with him and feel like I am failing as a parent. I realize he was born to me to help teach me that I am OK... and that I am the perfect parent for him even with my imperfections.

Maiya is my dolly that lights up the room with her smile. She is my daughter and I feel complete with her. She is my soul.

I can barely remember what life was like before my children came to me. I am sure it was a lot quieter. But definitely not as fulfilling.


  1. i think you are lucky, with Jacob you are already braced for the "worse" when it comes to your 2nd child. Jacob is like Ben. If i have it the other way around, my 2nd being a girl, it will be really less insane in my house but I find myself constantly having to repeat the rules with Ben and I find him doing stuff way beyond his age or Ava never did and that makes it challenging in my opinion. Ben is the reason I am scared shitless to have another child though Frank wants another

  2. lol!!! That is why we are considering a vasectomy! sigh... boys will be boys... my mother in law said that my husband was the exact same way which is why they waited 10 years till the next baby.... But we don't have 10 years... I'm 39 and dh turns 41 this year!

    I would love one or two more in a perfect world but I think we're quitting while we're ahead. Plus we don't want to be geriatrics while the kids are still in school... lol

    You can always tell Frank you will have another if he will stay home with the kids while you go to work..... ;)