rogue workout

As some of you may know, I am in the process of sneaking some fab new workout equipment into the firehouse. I say 'sneaking' because technically, I'm not allowed to bring in any equipment that has not been approved. Guess they're worried about us getting hurt or something. Each station is provided with the standard universal gym machine but I find the workouts limiting. I like my body to be the machine that moves the weights... not the other way around. Each station also has a recumbent bike but my arse goes numb after 10 minutes. So I'm being a rebel and I'm bringing in some cross training equipment and not a rock climbing wall so I think I'll be ok. So far I've brought in dumbells and a skip rope and someone brought in a heavy bag and some gloves. Figuring I might as well do this right, I just bought a set of gymnastic rings, a 20 kg kettle bell and a weighted vest from ExtremeKettlebell (The best prices and the best customer service I have come across in a long time). I'd love to get an Olympic lift bar and a set of bumper plates but I can't really hide that stuff in my locker so I'll have to save those lifts for when I'm at the gym. I'm trying to convince one of the guys to build a 24 inch plyo box and pass that off as a fancy stool if we ever get 'inspected'... lol ...... and if it's quiet at the station this weekend I may try to make my own 20 lb medicine ball out of a basketball and some sand... although I have images of the ball exploding because I haven't sealed it properly so I might just suck it up and buy a real one. I still think it's funny that I have to be so rogue about staying fit at work. I figure if we're gonna work out at work... we might as well do it right.

between a firefighter's bedsheets

Ha! Made you look.... ;)

I put together a photo collage for Jacob so he could 'see' me at work. It helps give him a visual of where I am when he misses me when I'm on shift. When he first started daycare, I made a similar photo album of our little family and his grandparents and all his favourite things and this helped him through the transition..... Anyway, I thought I'd share some of the pictures of my home away from home:

The firehouse.... only the ladder truck in the barn since the engine was running a call:


The bay (you've met the trucks in a previous post... so here's a good shot of the backends):



Our little yard for bbq and dining al fresco (although not so much in the winter):


A bit of a weird picture to post but I love the fact that I have my very own bathroom and shower! Not a big deal in most workplaces but a very big deal in a fire station. The first two stations I worked at I had to share bathrooms with the guys which after a chilli dinner was none too pleasant. And forget about showering. No way was I putting my dainty toes in a shower that a bunch of other men used... ick. Most fire stations never had women's washrooms since historically, there was never a need for one since there were no women on the job. Thankfully though, I am in a renovated station and even though this bathroom is no bigger than a closet, I am grateful they thought of me. :)




Possibly the most important room in the station... the kitchen! Notice the massive tin of Tim Horton's coffee? lol


Our dining/study/living/meeting room:


The workout room (which also doubles as another bedroom... those who snore are banished here):


And last but not least, what you've all been waiting for.... the bedroom... lol. This dorm actually sleeps 8 (four bunks along opposite walls) but I couldn't squeeze all the bunks in the picture. We each have a Murphy bed that drops out of the wall. Some guys think it's funny to fold you into the wall when you're sleeping. The Captain's each get their own room. My bed's on the very right.


Sorry gals, I didn't include any pictures of the guys.... they were all too camera shy. ;)

amauti love

I have a bit of a problem so it seems. I am addicted to beautiful and practical things. It began when I was looking for a way to run around town with an infant Jacob without being encumbered by a stroller. As such, I discovered the amauti. And I have amassed quite a collection. Four to be exact. But they are all different colours and reflect different regional styles. Because I know the amount of painstaking work and skill that Inuit seamstresses put into each garment, (even the ties are handwoven) they are all the more cherished to me. Some people collect art... I collect amautiit. :) Maiya had outgrown the pouch of the amauti that was made the autumn she was born so what's a girl to do? Get a new one of course ;) This new one is so 'me'. And I added a fox fur detachable trim around the hood and I love, love, love wearing this amauti. Maiya loves it too and will go find the coat and drag it over to me to indicate that she wants to go outside. When she's in it she is lulled to sleep by the movement of my steps. What I adore is how intimate it is to carry my little one against my back. I can feel her every movement, breath, and sigh... and I maintain a type of contact with her that you don't get from pushing a stroller. The one that she has outgrown I will have it altered to become a regular parka. Anyway, here we are..... sans snow unfortunately (I know, I know, most people hate the fact that I love a good snowstorm).



And here is a close-up of the hand-woven ties from Pang. If you are looking for a unique gift this is a lovely place to shop from.

And last but not least, newborn Maiya in the amauti she outgrew all too quickly last winter. I will have the amauti altered into a regular parka and add fur around the hood too.


Anyway, this post is for you Aida! Don't worry, that's it for my collection.... and I will be selling one as soon as my all-too-short babywearing days are over. The rest I will be keeping for Maiya to carry her babies in. xo

recipes

Here are all the fantastic recipes that I was raving about from the Paleo Nights party. And too funny the pics of me looking all serious as I am about to stuff my face! lol..... Can't wait for the next paleo night and I promise I'll wear my big girl clothes next time instead of my pseudo pj's.... xo

Paleo party

Well, this weekend I had the privilege of attending an event that was unlike any other. It was a paleo dinner party created by the fabulous Cosmopolitan Primal Girl and hosted by Sio in her cool digs. I can't believe that I nearly didn't make it. I fell asleep in bed with the children and when I woke up I was thinking of just staying in bed but the lure of the food and fine company was enough to get me moving.... albeit I showed up in the clothes I fell asleep in which were basically sweats and a t-shirt with a hat thrown on to cover my unruly hair because I didn't want to be too late.

Dinner was AMAZING. From the elk meatballs to the duck hash and a multitude of other amazing courses all paired with a differnt wine, my tastebuds were in absolute heaven. So without further ado, for those of you who haven't had the privilege of yet meeting her, here is the 'Girl' herself.

Not only is she an awesomely fit and gorgeous gal, she can cook! I've told her husband that I want her as my wife!

And here's me at the very right, looking way too tired for my liking but I tell you, I am so glad I got out of bed to join in on the fun.

the truth

When it comes to life, I try not to lie, or make promises I can't keep. For this reason, as you know, I don't make New Year's resolutions, and if I did, they'd be out the door before the stroke of midnight. I never say to a critically injured person that they will be fine, but that I am doing everything I can for them. I don't tell my children that I will live forever, rather, I explain that every moment we have together I will do my best to cherish it. I don't like to paint a picture to those who are single and childless that motherhood and marriage is rosy.... there are days it's full of thorns. I did take marriage vows but when my husband leaves his dirty socks lying around for the zillionth time and can't boil a pot of water that I'd like to bow out. I see smiling and perfectly grommed mothers in my neighbourhood pushing thousand dollar strollers and I wonder what their secret is. Perhaps they have the patience of Saints. Or perhaps they are medicated. I'm not sure. But I do know that I am not a Stepford Wife. Although at times I am sure my husband would love me to be. Again, this is one of those posts where I have no idea what point I am trying to get across except to say that I know all too well that I am far from perfect and that I am one of the most difficult people to live with on my grumpy days. But the one thing I can say for sure is that I live my life with my heart on my sleeve and am not afraid to speak my mind or feel all the highs and lows that come with life. xo After all, I'm a not great at faking it.

riches

I always tell people that when it comes to my job, I feel like I've won the lottery. The salary and benefits are good. I don't have to worry about buying a wardrobe for work since my clothing from uniforms to boots are provided, and I work 7 days a month (albeit it still comes to 48 hours a week). But the true wealth that comes with being a firefighter is the personal growth I get by being in constant contact with people.... whether it be my crew or the public. I like the unknown, the immediacy and the urgency. I like the heavy machinery and the tools and the trucks, and the power of a roaring housefire. But I also love the delicate nuances of handling a tricky trauma call... palpating, opening an airway, finding a barely-there heartbeat and wiping away a tear of a frightened patient. This job brings out the best in me and makes me feel like I have something to offer from my heart to a total unknown stranger. There are days as a mother that I do things because I have to... even though I don't want to... like discipline, and dishes, and the other not so fun stuff that comes with the responsibility of being a parent. But firefighting, no matter how dirty the call, I approach with enthusiasm. I'm not sure why. But I can say this for sure is that I grew up when I became a firefighter but I wasn't an adult until I had my babies. It was a lot simpler when I was just a firefighter but it's a lot more fun being a firemama. There are days that I struggle through the fatigue but I wouldn't trade where I am right now for anything in the world. Except maybe more sleep. ;)

engines and ladders and panels oh my!

As promised...........
the new pumper!

I won't bore you with the details of truck geekery and techno talk but this baby pumps just over six thousand litres of water a minute.

And look at the gorgeous pump panel.

And just so the ladder truck doesn't feel jealous, here it is along with its pump panel:

I really love this truck although the back end swings out like crazy when turning a corner and doesn't handle well in the snow. It's an old truck and even if it's lacking in state of the art electronics, it pumps water just fine. The pump panel is old school... :) And I love the 105 ft ladder. Fully extended and flowing water at full capacity is something to behold.

shiny new toy

*insert happy dance here* because the only thing better than a new car is a brand spanking new fire engine. My station has a new state of the art pumper truck that practically pumps water and drives itself. The electronics are incredible... it will tell you if your seat belt isn't buckled, and if you're cornering too quickly or if a cabinet door is left open. The Screaming Eagle siren will part any traffic jam like the Red Sea. I feel like a rock star in it.... it's so deluxe... it even has cup holders. And as an engine operator, what I love about this truck is that it is virtually impossible to cavitate the water pump. For those of you who don't know what a cavitating pump is, it's close to what an off balance washing machine sounds like multiplied by 10. The truck will shake back and forth and will freak the heck out of the engine operator and those on the line since water will stop flowing.... never a good thing when in a fire.
I'll get pictures up tomorrow since I'm at work now and can't upload them. And I am hearing through the grapevine that we'll be getting a new ladder truck at the station in the spring. Christmas comes early!

a blur

Wow. A week has flown by since my last post and I'd love to report something new and exciting but it's all been a bit of a blur. Lately the calls at work have been happening mostly between the hours of midnight and 6 am. And then I'm back into mommy mode by 8 am when I get home and by 10 am I am just crying for a nap. Which I may get on a good day but most days I don't. Today I was so tired my eyes were crossed and my mood was even crosser. The neat freak in me looked at the unruliness of our home and was about to throw a fit but I couldn't find the energy to throw a tantrum. So what did I do? Put all the dishes in the sink to soak. I'll deal with them when I get back from work Thursday morning. And I haven't had the energy to hit the gym which always bugs me because I love the gym but at least I've been jumping in for yoga with the boys at work. Hey, if you can't hit the weights at least you can do the stretchy stretchy stuff. Scary thing is, some of the guys are more flexible than I am. Apart from that, nothing really new this week. Jacob had a fever all weekend so there have been some long nights at home. But Maiya is thrilled Jacob has been home sick from daycare... she has her playmate to bug. She follows her big brother around like a lost puppy and smothers him with kisses when he just wants to be by himself and play quietly. Maiya continues to get into mischief now that she is at the stage where everything is worthy of exploring. Is it wrong for me to crave going to work not only because I love my job but so it gives me a break from the mundane chores of mommyhood? There are some days I really resent all the unrewarding stuff that needs done around here but that is life I suppose. Wish I weren't such a neat freak. That is part of my problem. I'm not the type of person who is able to sit on the couch and relax when I know there are things that need to be done. Sigh... wish I could be more of a slob. Oh... not newsworthy really but I chopped my hair off.
It's the shortest I've ever had it. Far cry from this hair when Maiya was just born:
I got tired of trying to stuff my hair under my helmet at work and I must say even though it's a boyish cut, I like it. And even though my husband, like 99% of the men out there love long hair on women, I doubt I will ever grow it long again. Comfort trumps style I suppose. Anyway, not the most exciting post but a post nonetheless. xo

logistics

The logistics of being a mother and a firefighter takes a bit of pre-planning. Actually, it takes a LOT of pre-planning.

In a typical month, I work 7 or 8 days in total. While that might not seem a lot, each day consists of 24 hours. I work 2 days a week for 3 weeks and one day a week the last week.

My schedule looks like this with the start time being 7 am and ending 7 am the next day:

Week 1 work days:
Monday and Thursday

Week 2:
Friday and Sunday

Week 3:
Wednesday and Saturday

Week 4:
Tuesday

Then the cycle starts over again.

Like any work schedule, there are pros and cons. The pros are that I work 7 days a month. The cons are that they are long days. And it requires careful planning and shuttling of the kids. Until Maiya gets into daycare, she spends the night at my parents' home the night before I head into work. So today, I dropped her off in the afternoon, came home to pick up Jacob from daycare since my husband is working late into the evening. I will be up at 5:30 am to make it into work on time. And my husband will get Jacob to daycare by 7:45 am so that my husband can make it to work on time. So with today being Tuesday, and me going into work tomorrow, being Weds, I won't see Maiya until Thursday morning when I pick her up and I won't see Jacob until Thursday late afternoon when he is finished daycare. Then I do it all again when the next shift comes up. Our little family is a bit fragmented this way right now but the pro is that it is nice for Maiya to get lots of attention and my parent's great cooking while she stays there. She doesn't cry or bat an eye when I drop her off. It's like she is at the baby spa for how well she is taken care of. Jacob had the royal treatment as well when he was wee. I love the fact that they are really close with their grand parents... I never knew mine at all. Some people think it's odd that my daughter spends 4 nights of the week at my parents' but Chinese families raise children communally... you've heard the saying... 'it takes a village to raise a child'. I believe that. It benefits everyone and I do not claim or want to try to be a mother who is and does everything... that would equal burn out that's for sure.

It is nice to be home with just Jacob when Maiya is away... it feels less chaotic and Jacob and I can catch up with some much needed one on one time. I think it's important we have this. It's funny though.... he asks for Maiya and says he misses her when she isn't here yet he also loves not having to compete for attention with her. When Maiya gets into daycare it will a bit easier with the shuttling around but busier for my husband getting 2 kids ready in the morning and taking care of both at night while I'm still at work. If I'm lucky and can race home from work and walk through the door before 8 am then I can send the kids to daycare.

And then collapse on the couch for some sleep.

Phew... I'm exhausted just explaining all this. Off to bed for me... morning comes quick. G'night. xo

the guys

Phew! Had a busy shift with most of the calls after midnight..... Friday nights get a bit nutty with the bar scene. One guy took a tumble down a flight of stairs after twelve beers and as we were helping him a bar fight broke out.... fun times.... But I digress.

I wanted to give a shout out to my new crew.......... and how much I love working with them. I totally lucked out. Sometimes crews can do their job but lack cohesiveness and just sit around the firehall doing their own thing until the alarm goes. But these guys are like brothers in the truest sense and the laughter, banter and camraderie make me feel privileged to be part of this group. They range from 26 to 56 years of age and they are all adorable. The guys have the same weird sense of humour as I do and the same approach to work and play and really, our work is our play. There is no better feeling than looking forward to the next shift rather than dragging your arse into the office on a Monday morning. I'd literally skip and dance into work if it were cool... that's how much I look forward to work. It's great to love your job and even greater to love the people you work with. Wish I could post a pic of them. They'd kill me though...... or make me do all the station duties for the rest of the year... in which case I would rather not.

ode to crossfit

I'm at work right now so I'm regurgitating a post I wrote for a Crossfit website on why and how I found this new 'religion'....


Crossfit… where ya been all my life?

I became a professional firefighter right after 9/11 and staying in shape and keeping up with the boys was paramount. Somehow I managed to stay strong by sheer stubbornness although I was highly untrained in the techniques of how to lift weights properly. In my quest to get and stay strong, I joined almost every gym out there and tried different workout routines only to find out that I didn”t have the Lululemons for Pilate’s, the zen for yoga, and because of my shift-work, I was never reliable enough to make it out to team sports. I thought I could keep up with my 70 year old marathon running father but nope… every time I trained, I was bored after the first 10k. I knew I was in trouble when I joined a swanky gym because it had a spa-like locker room with a sauna and hot tub. I was paying a fortune for towel service and a shower? I hated the posers and the mirrors and the idea that it mattered more what you looked like on the outside than how you felt on the inside. Finally, after having had 2 children and thus very little spare time, I needed something else…. the elliptical machine at said gym with the mini TV in front of it wasn’t cutting it. I was sick of working out watching Oprah reruns. And I was starting to panic because I was trying to figure out a way to get back onto the firetrucks in fighting form once my maternity leave was over. Five months postpartum with my second baby, someone recommended CrossFit to me. I was a bit skeptical thinking that it was just another one of those gyms full of guys on ‘roids with shaved chests…. until I walked in and then the light bulb went off in my head like an epiphany… and I was intrigued on how to decipher and understand Fran, and all those names on the white board.

My favourite workouts are the ones that have me in a panic right before the stopwatch starts. I love them because once it’s over I’m sooooooo relieved and happy. I have always loved things that scare me, forcing me to face my fears head on. I’m terrified of snatches and push jerks or any heavy weight over my body or head. But a wise firefighter once told me when I was a rookie to make my weaknesses my strength which motivates me to train harder.

CrossFit has become my haven and my refuge. During that one hour, it’s all about me and my sweat and nothing else. I am grateful to my Crossfit 'tribe' who push me because they know I can be pushed and have made me see that the possibilities in my training are limitless. And let's face it... Crossfitters are just so damn cool

Most importantly, I believe CrossFit has made me a better mother. Despite the intensity of the workouts, I have more energy and feel stronger, happier, and more motivated than I have been in years. My family is eating better which is paramount since my children are in their formational years and it is setting up the groundwork for their eating habits in years to come.

I am turning 40 this year and I am in better shape than I was 20 years ago. What’s that old saying? At 20 you have the body you’re born with, at 40 you have the body you deserve. CrossFit is hard work. But I’m not a gal who is afraid of a little blood, sweat and tears. Ok, maybe I am a little afraid of Daniel.

Bring it on. xo

good lord woman!

During a ridiculously sleepless night that resulted in channel surfing, I came across a show about the Duggars.

All I can say is... holy crap Mama Duggar. That's a lot of bambinos. I have merely two children and I wish I could look that perky, relaxed and calm. And you're only a few years older than I am. My children, although clean, aren't as neatly groomed and yours. And my home is nowhere near as tidy! I couldn't even fathom trying to homeschool. I'm impressed.

My hats off to you Mama Duggar. Oh, and I apologize for swearing earlier in this post. There is nothing really holy about crap. You are a superwoman for running that household and looking so un-tired. There are days in my household when preparing dinner is so overwhelming that I scream 'I give!' and my husband knows to order a pizza. And when Jacob is jumping around like a kangaroo on caffeine that I'd like to send him off to camp for a week or three. And when Maiya has somehow managed to climb up onto the dining table for the umpteenth time and I have to dash across the room before she decides to do a swan dive backwards on her head. And when my husband gives me 'the look' I give him my look back that says 'not tonight... you've got to be kidding me' . And we convince ourselves that we're not exhausted but the bags under our eyes and our dishevelled look gives us away.

Maybe I need to believe in Jesus more.... I'm in if it helps keep me sane.

the mental oriental

There is a guy on our department named the Mental Oriental. I'm not sure what came first, the chicken or the egg: I don't know if he got the name because of his crazy antics or he was given the name and decided to live up to it. It's fitting..... he's Chinese and well, he's a bit nuts. To 'welcome' a new rookie, he would dive into the bunk naked as a jay bird right next to the petrified newbie. Or he will kiss him full on the lips to say hello. I don't know which would be worse. Most guys, if they are smart, will grin and bear it. Once the initation is over, it's over. But if you squirm and show the least bit of apprehension he will find more creative ways to hound you till you give. He will hide out inside a locker or behind a door for hours only to jump out and scare the snot out of an unsuspecting colleague. He goes down the firepole headfirst like a Shaolin monk. He has doctored lottery tickets to make you think that you're a millionaire. If you can put up with his pranks, he is someone you want on your crew because simply put, he is a great fireman. He is one of the most physically strong people I know and understands the fireground.

Now that he is approaching retirement, he has settled down some, and to me, instead of the Mental Oriental, he is more like the Gentle Oriental but.... I have a feeling that he won't be retiring quietly and he has been saving his antics for one last big hurrah before he goes.

I'll never forget the first time I met him. I was given the heads up on what to expect so I was prepared. Instead of waiting for him to kiss me, I took him by complete surprise and kissed him first. You see, he's not the only Mental Oriental around here. ;)

stay or go?

There were two times during my firefighting career that I was thinking of calling it quits. The first time was when I was still a probationary firefighter and I was feeling completely overwhelmed with all the information and responsibility that came with the job. And I just didn't know if I would ever really fit in. I stuck out like a sore thumb and felt like fish out of water. I had passed my exams and physicals with flying colours but still didn't know if I could 'do it'. It was hard. The physical hard I could manage but the mental hard was in a league of its own. It was tough hanging around the fire hall in anticipation of what might come. I could read protocols and scenarios and go through what if situations all day but tackling a scene pen to paper vs real life wasn't the same. I think I had a case of paralysis by analysis and would overthink what I had to do before I had even done it. I spoke to my husband about quitting and he just looked at me and said he'd back me on whatever decision I made but only after giving it 2 years. If in two years time I was not loving it I could quit and he'd support me. Ha! Of course he knew that it was just a matter of time before I gained some confidence through experience. That once I faced the big house/high rise/vehicle fire/trauma call I would feel better. He was right... And looking back it was just a bad case of the jitters.

The other time was after I had Jacob. It's a different mindset being a firefighter when you have a baby. I felt vulnerable... what if something happened to me at work? Was it responsible of me to put my life at risk trying to save the life of others when the most important life that mattered to me was my son's? While on maternity leave I battled this question inside me for months. Only to realize that if I quit and decided to stay at home, I wouldn't be serving him. Because I wouldn't be serving me. Life is not about playing it small and safe. It is about doing what fulfills me and taking on challenges and pushing myself through the times when I feel uncertain or afraid. Firefighting is a mind bend with me facing some great highs and great lows never knowing what the next second will bring when the alarm goes off.

I could never think of quitting again. I'm just having way too much fun. And even though I am not always home at night to be there for my children, and that shiftwork can be a constant juggling game in the family, they know they are loved and that their mama is happy doing what she loves. And I hope one day when they are older that they are proud of me... that I might inspire them to chase after their dreams and be anything that they want to be.

It will be exciting to see where we will all be in twenty years. xo

eating my words

I wish I had a greater capacity for compassion. I was reading some of my older posts, namely this one. Yikes. Not too proud of how angry and judgmental I sounded. I know that drug addiction often stems from a person's need to escape a past that is painful beyond words... whether it be abuse, abandonment or a plethora of other reasons that can begin when the individual is just a child. And that the only way to escape that pain is to eventually run into the dark hole of addiction. This is a tough subject for me. I hate that homes and vehicles in my neighbourhood are constantly broken into so that someone can get their next fix. But I do believe that no one on the street truly wants to live that way. And that they have hopes and dreams just like the rest of us.

Jacob has started asking the difficult questions when we walk by and he sees the homeless sprawled in alleyways or huddled inside bus shelters. On the one hand, the glib side of me is tempted to tell him that the guy sleeping on a piece of cardboard is there because he didn't eat his vegetables or listen to his mother. But of course, for me to say that to my son is irresponsible and absurd.

The next time Jacob asks again, I will tell him the truth: that I don't know exactly why the man is sleeping on a piece of cardboard in the middle of winter and that I am sorry he is cold and doesn't have a home or a bed... And I will tell Jacob that I hope that man has a mommy out there somewhere who loves him as much as I love my boy.

hangover

I have a hangover today.

Not from drink though. From work. I had forgotten how my body feels after a shift. It used to be I could come home from work, grab a hot shower and some breakfast, and crash. Not anymore with children to look after. :) It was sweet coming home to see that my husband (who doesn't cook at all) had breakfast made and the kids were sitting nicely at the table eating. I almost expected them to all be crying because mommy was away but nope, they were great. My husband said Maiya fell asleep in bed with him and didn't make a peep all night and Jacob didn't get into any mischief. It reinforces my theory that they save their naughtiness for moi.

Despite how tired my bones are I am still enjoying the busy-ness of our lives. Between the children and our jobs and the constant juggling it takes to run a household and me trying to get a killer workout in (even if it means I don't hit the gym till 9 pm!) this is such a short period of time... a tiny blip in the radar of life... short.. but intense. I register Jacob for kindergarten next week and Maiya will be starting daycare in a few months. So I am just going to push through the tired until I get some breathing room to do nothing but sit on the couch all day if I so choose. Or maybe even get to go on a date with my husband. Although the last time I went on a date with him I got pregnant with Maiya. So maybe not a date-date.... but dinner just the two of us would be smashing.

Goodness, I am tired.
But it's a happy tired.

Counting the hours till bedtime. :)