Tuesday, March 16, 2010

bye bye swimmers

Well, it's a done deal. It was V day yesterday. My husband came back from the doctor's and promptly sat on a bag of frozen peas.

After the birth of Maiya I was in that hormonal high and wanted a third baby right away. My husband, being the wiser one, said he was open to a third child but to give it at least six months. Well, that baby feeling went away and here we are.

I feel happy and relieved that I am done with having babies. I had two picture perfect pregnancies and deliveries and we have a boy and a girl. The family feels balanced and complete. And the children don't outnumber the parents. :) As much as I love children, I will be forty next month and I just don't think I have the energy to do it again. I have noticed that prior to having children, I rarely got sick, now colds sadly are commmonplace... mostly because I am constantly sleep deprived. I also don't want to take any more time off from work. I don't see myself working as a firefighter to retirement age because I think a 60 year old woman having gone through menopause might break a hip getting off the truck. So I want to roll with however many years my body gives me on this job. And mostly importantly, even though I know there is always enough love to go around, I can't say the same for time. And I want this time to enjoy with my little family now without feeling stretched. Some days I feel so grumpy and overwhelmed and inundated with all the things it takes to keep a household together while also working full time shift work that I miss the days I had before children. That is only natural I suppose. So Jacob and Maiya are the lucky little swimmers that made it through and I am glad they did. As taxing and trying they can be sometimes, I have grown up with them, and through them. I don't think I came fully into my own until I had my babies. It is weird and wonderful to guide these little lives and have them depend on me. I just wish I could get more sleep. Maybe one day.


  1. AMEN!!! Couldn't have said it better myself!!while my man fought the big 'V' for some time, it took three of our friends to have the third babies to make him go and actually get it done (he wimped out the first time)
    Why tempt when you DO have the perfect little family?? I'll tell you the whole story over drinks next time we can all get together! So glad all is going well ans settling in to the crazi routine! Hope to see you soon,


    PS: miss u at crossfit!!

  2. Miss you too! xoxoxox

    yes! drinks are in order! It is patio weather now! xo