baby steps

Well. Maiya started daycare this week and on day one I dropped her off with Jacob and off she toddled to play with nary a backward glance. When I went to pick her up I had to drag her out of there kicking and screaming because she did not want to leave. When I was finally able to stuff her into the stroller she realized she was so hungry that she wolfed down a banana and a bottle of milk in two seconds flat. Just as we predicted, she has settled in fine. I think the fact that Jacob is in the next room with the preschoolers helps. He pops in to see her and make sure she's ok... he's protective that way. Although yesterday I did get a phone call because Maiya was inconsolable. Turns out she was overtired from all the activity and stimulation and she was only able to nap a short time whereas at home she naps anywhere from 2 to 3 hours. My husband went to pick the kids up early because I was at work and he said she was crying but when he was getting her ready to go home she didn't want to leave. Go figure. As with anything, there is always a bit of a transition period. It was odd coming home this morning after shift to an empty house. With both children in daycare and my husband at work, I feel a wee bit lost. Which is a feeling I didn't quite expect. I thought I'd be tap dancing and enjoying long hot bubble baths but instead I feel a bit ungrounded. I think partially it is because I just came off shift and I haven't seen the kids in two days. And I just want to give them a hug. But I pick them up early this afternoon anyway so I might as well enjoy the peace and quiet and get a nice dinner ready. After all these years of having a baby growing in me or glued at the hip, it's strange to have my days independent again. Time to take my own baby steps here to rediscover myself.