born or made?

When I was a little girl I wanted to be an airline stewardess. I was lucky that my family travelled frequently to far off places and airplane rides were thrilling and adventurous. I thought those stewardess had it made. Somehow along the way I forgot about that career path and started along a few others. I had applied to the police department when I was 21 but there was a hiring freeze in my city and I didn't meet the minimum visual acuity requirements. I dabbled working in a law-firm (ha.. that lasted all of 6 months... couldn't stand to wear panty hose), as an esthetician (double ha... that job lasted all of 2 weeks), in restaurants, bars, and catering, working in a gym, and also in the movie and television biz. Although I made a comfortable living, I never felt completely comfortable in my skin. Fast forward 10 years later when laser eye surgery was commonplace, I applied to the fire department. It was a bit of an early mid-life crisis in that I needed to do something different and hopefully meaningful with my life. It was a bit of a moment of insanity or clarity when I decided I wanted to be a firefighter. I had no point of reference on where or how to go about this so I just naively started from the beginning. And somehow here I am. The year I took off work to prepare myself for the job is a bit of a blur and I so wish I had documented it. Maybe I am looking back at that period with rose coloured glasses but I don't recall ever having been so focused and determined before in my life. It was such a liberating time.....

I wasn't born to be a firefighter. In fact, at times I felt like the remedial class rookie. And was I made for this job? I'm not sure. I'm certainly not built like your typical fire dude but luckily my Mongolian ancestry gave me one helluva strong set of legs. And my stubborn will of not giving up and pushing myself at the gym has helped. So, no, I wasn't born for this job, but now that I am here I simply cannot see myself doing anything else.