all's well

One thing that I learned on the job is that panic is contagious. It sets off a chain reaction in such a way that once you start spinning downwards, it's hard to get out of the hole. It's scary to watch. I have seen victims in shock deal with their stress in various ways. Some freeze in their tracks, some come at you swinging. One woman after witnessing a fatal crash started laughing hysterically. The spookiest ones are the ones that just sit there vacant with the thousand yard stare. So I've learned that when at a scene no matter how crazy it gets to make sure I take a deep breathe and squash down whatever insecurities I have at that moment and just deal. I have had the privilege of working with many Captains over the years and the very best ones are those that stand strong and steady in the midst of chaos. During a fire there is often zero visibility and the only communication is via radio... so you can imagine the importance of a leader being as cool as a cucumber. This is one aspect of work that I try to emulate at home. Children are quick to pick up on vibes so my husband and I try to stay pretty steady when we can. Of course, we aren't perfect but we do the best we can.

I hope I never panic at work... ever. But I came close once to pushing the panic button at home..... It was when Maiya was born... a daunting shade of blue/grey. I looked at the midwives who smiled and said "congratulations" and proceeded to do nothing but let me hold my baby. She wasn't crying but she was breathing calmly and steadily.... she just hadn't 'pinked up' yet because she was born so quickly and her lungs hadn't yet transitioned to breathing room air. She was still getting lots of oxygen because she was still attached to the umbilical cord that was transferring blood rich oxygen with every beat of my heart.

So here's one of these posts where I have no idea where I am going so I'll just stop here. xo