the cure

I've discovered the answer to world peace. A bottle of tequila in Cozumel today with a bunch of locals on a white sand beach and all is right as rain again. :)

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Funny how after the fifth shot I started seeing oh-so-clearly and realized that I lead a pretty sweet life.  I created a dream home with joyful children and I have a profession that is indescribably fulfilling. Partly due to the fact that I am always surrounded by crewmates and friends who support me through thick and thin and the past few days they have inundated me with emails of encouragement and love. They are selfless and have circled the wagons from across the ocean and I feel safe and cherished again. I'm only repeating some of the things emailed to me here to remind me to stay grounded and not let other people's shit drag me down. Thanks again boys for these kind words of love. You are my brothers at heart. 

"you have a lot of amazing things going for you. 2 amazing children that are unbelievable, an amazing job, great health, you are absolutely beautiful and smart as a whip. "

'You will find someone and u will find them when u aren't even looking. U need to take this time to rediscover urself as a single parent. U r one of the most independent people i know so u will bounce back better and far quickier then anyone out there. Just keep ur chin up. Be proud of who u r and how many amazing things u accomplished. U will amaze urself as time goes on st how many more amazing things will happen to u in ur life because u deserve them to happen and u work hard to achieve them. '

'Don't let anyone bring u down!!  Walk proud!! Smile even when life seems it sucks. Looks at something beautiful. Take a deep breath of air, listen to the sounds we constantly ignore and enjoy being alive. '

It will work out. U r such a strong woman nothing can beat u. This may be winning the current battle on u right this moment but it won't win the war. Say to urself screw this I'm not gonna let this bring me down I deserve more!! Put ur chin up and walk with pride.  know u did everything u could and some. It will all work out. Trust me!! '

"It is very healthy for u to cry it out so let it happen ok. Don't hold it in. I'm here for u and always will be"

"You are a very special, beautiful, funny outgoing lady with so much to offer 
 
Move on and count your blessings."

"I am here to talk or write with you  - please hold on -   YOU are not seeing
the whole picture of who YOU are and what YOU have to offer !!!"

"I feel bad you are feeling this pain - I know how it feels, believe me"

"Give yourself  some time to heal and find out what you want. Don`t go looking and it may crash right into you.

 Oh yah, you`re pretty sexy too."

The last comment made me laugh out loud in a way i havent laughed in a long time.  And it warmed my heart because it was from my very favourite retired captain in the world. 
 
I love, love, love these people  And I just realized I have been loved in the truest sense all along.  I don't lack a single thing.  I will remind myself to never doubt  my strength again nor let other people's shit affect my self esteem. This love that I was so desperately yearning was  right under my nose the whole time.   Thank you boys for always being there for me. 

I'm back again with my two feet planted firmly on the ground and I cannot tell you how great it feels.