I will never win Mother Of the Year Award. I know my limitations. I don't profess to be one of those shiny polished homeschooling mothers that you see on the cover of magazines where their hair is perfectly coiffed and their lipstick matches their outfits.... and their kids are wearing Gap clothing with nary a stain on them. I make sure my kids' clothes are clean and if they happen to match that day, well, it's a bonus. I let Jacob pick out his own clothing and he dresses himself in the morning. Sometimes his shoes will be on the wrong feet or his underwear will be on backwards but I've never heard him complain about having bunions or a wedgie.
I knew before getting into the mothering business that it was going to be challenging, especially with the physical and mental demands of being a firefighter, but the past few weeks I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck. I have a toddler and a preschooler and it seems like they are doing everything they can to test my stamina. I'm no wimp but on some days I am near tears with exhaustion. I've thought about hiring a cleaning lady again but the thought of spending all that money when the house will be a mess minutes after she leaves seems a bit wasteful. Plus, as weird as it may sound, I find cleaning therapeutic when I can do it on my own terms without kids underfoot trying to jump in the mop bucket or empty the dishwasher as I'm trying to load it. Maiya thinks scrubbing the toilet out is a riot except she tries to do it with her toothbrush. Her new favourite word is 'noooooo'. Go figure.
They say parenting gets easier. I'm not so sure. I think each stage of childhood has its challenges and rewards.
We've been ordering a lot of take-out lately, and thankfully at least it's healthy food like sushi, and Vietnamese or Thai.... if I didn't have my little family I would probably eat tuna straight out of a can and some baby carrots and wash it down with a glass of wine or three. All our clothes are perma-wrinkled because they sit in the basket for days after they've been washed... I don't bother to fold them anymore. I'm still cloth diapering Maiya since I can't bring myself to use the disposables. Thankfully Maiya is the best potty baby in the world and does her poops in the toilet so washing the diapers is one of the simpler chores.
So today I tapped out and waved my little white flag. I dropped Maiya off at my folks to babysit. And I am sitting on my arse eating a pint of Guinness (yes Guinness!) ice cream and leaving that spilled bowl of Cheerios on the counter. And heck... I might just watch a bit of Oprah and allow myself to do nothing for once in my life. At least until my husband gets back with Jacob from daycare. But we'll be doing take-out.... again. Like I said, I will never be Mother of the Year, but it's so nice to be ok with myself that it's not a title I even want to strive for...