Tuesday, October 27, 2009

my babies

With my daughter quickly approaching her first birthday, I reflect on what an incredible year it has been since her birth. There's a part of me that still mourns the displacement of my first baby... meaning Jacob. He is, and always will remain, the most significant little man in my life. I know it was hard initially when his little sister came along since all of a sudden he was the big brother and he was barely two years old at the time. But they are thick as thieves now, and best of friends. He dotes on her and it is beautiful to watch. See him brushing her hair?

Maiya continues to be the ever-smiling dolly and having a daughter makes me feel this joy that I cannot describe. I am amazed at how my children are thriving... the world to them is a place of wonderment and exploration. I should learn to look at the world through my children's eyes and take life a lot less seriously. They are their own little beings that are as perfect as the morning sun. Even with my mistakes they are gentle, and forgiving in my mommy meltdowns. And like my husband, my children are incredibly patient with me. And through them, I am healing my tumultuous past. They love me simply because I am their mother and they love me even in those moments when I don't love myself. I cannot take credit for how delicious they are because I am simply following their lead and merely guiding them in a way that I hope one day makes them proud that I am their mama. Because I am beyond proud of them. And perhaps I am getting soft as I get older or maybe I am just feeling sensitive becauase I am tired and sleep deprived but writing this post brings a tear to my eye. I have said it before and I will say it again, I am on lucky lady and I have no idea what I've done to deserve this. xo

1 comment:

  1. meant to post something as soon as i read this one! And all i wanna say is go easy on yourself! You do deserve every second of wonderful moments you get...why the hell would you think otherwise? And I know the answer to that one all too well. But 'WE' are here to remind you that you don't need to be perfect. You only need to have a pure heart and whatever God or Karma is out there, he/she brings it back...so that's how I know you deserve it ALL!!
    'night angel...love the pix of the kids!