Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Today is one of those days that I can't 'figure me out'. At work, I can run into a burning building to try and save life, limb, or property but I find it virtually impossible to ask for help at home in my private life. Stopping a house from burning down, preventing someone's heart from never beating again, and putting my life at risk during a rescue is something that I don't think twice about. But it is difficult for me to ask for help at home whether it be from family members or babysitters. I am not sure why that is. Perhaps it is this fierce 'I want to do it on my own' sense that I've had ever since I was old enough to tie my shoes. We have never had a nanny and we hired a cleaning lady briefly because as lovely as she was, I felt odd that someone else was cleaning my mess and moreover, it was a bit uncomfortable having someone in 'my space'. I have always been fiercely independent and I think my weakness is the backwards thinking that asking for help is, well, a weakness. I crave more hours during the day when I can lounge in a hot bubble bath or read the newspaper uninterrupted or enjoy a cup of tea before it turns stone cold. I get to 'escape' for a few hours here and there but often, soon as I am away from the babes I start missing them. The fact is, I love spending time with my children. I just need a breather now and then. Especially on days like yesterday when mobile Maiya decided to use the dresser drawers as steps and ended up stuck. So with my husband working overtime last night and me alone with both children, I decided to give my parents a call to come over and give me a hand. I cannot tell you how smoothly the evening went and how I didn't have to say the word NO at all. :) This asking for help thing.... I will be doing it alot more from now on. And if my fairygodmother presented me with a personal chef and a chauffeur, I definitely would consider it. ;)

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