shut out

Another shut out yesterday on shift. Pumper went out to a few calls but I was on the ladder truck and we didn't turn a wheel. While some guys love a once-in-awhile shift of not running around, this gal likes to move, and run like the wind............ and feel like she has earned her keep by going to as many emergency calls she can get her hands on.

I'm no altruistic saint and I have to admit, running calls is not necessarily for the satisfaction of helping people or for being tagged with the label rescuer or that ridiculous word 'hero'. Rather, running calls is often a way for me to settle down and quiet my mind on those days that I am not able to attain stillness because the gears are spinning too fast up there. A tough call can snap me back to reality and help me see all the things that are beautiful in my life. This is why I have always said that I am grateful to be of service to the public in any way, shape or form, because as much as they think I am helping them, I wish they could see how much they are helping me..... they take away the raw edges of whatever I happen to be going through in my life, and smooth away the sharpness of any pain or sadness I might be feeling. They help me get outside of that self-centred part of my head..... a place where we all often reside way too much.