always still my baby

I am not looking forward to the day when I am either not strong enough or my kids are too big for me to carry.

Yesterday Jacob wanted to sleep over at my parents' house. Since we live in a building, it's a treat to visit my parents' as they have a huge yard with a teahouse, deck, sandbox... all backing onto a park that has a splash pad for the kids to run around in. On rainy days, they can hang out in the carport which has basically been converted into an outdoor solarium. So I brought him over and watched him run around and play. After dinner and bath, I waved goodbye. He waved back happily. At 9:30 pm I got a phone call from my mother saying Jacob had big quiet tears rolling down his face. Jacob, was crying that he missed me and that he wanted me to come get him. So I did. I could have told him a million things, that he needed to stay, that it was too late for me to get him, that he chose to sleep over thus a sleep over he was going to have, that he's slept over a million times before so one more night wont' make a difference. But the thing is, I believe as long as his wishes are not ridiculous or far fetched, he should be listened to. And I wanted him to know that mommy or daddy will come get him anytime. Even when he's a teenager and gets drunk somewhere and needs a ride home, I want him to be ok with calling me for me to get him.

Of course he was fast asleep in bed when I arrived and although I could have left him at the house and turned back, I picked him up and put him in the car. As I carried him up to our loft, his head resting on my shoulder and arms wrapped around me, I was reminded of when I was a little girl. I used to pretend to be asleep in the car just so my Dad would carry me into the house. And carry me he did. Just like I will always carry my own children when they need me.

I hope it will be for a long, long, time. xo