goofy kids

3 pipe cleaners = a ton of laughs :
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my beautiful birthday boy

Jacob celebrated his fourth birthday this weekend. :) In the previous weeks I must have asked him a half dozen times if he wanted to have his friends over for a party (because he has been to his friends' parties) but each time he said 'No, I just want Mommy, Daddy, Maiya, Nana, Grampa, Amah, Gung-Gung.' So that's what we did. What I adore about my son is how easy-going and easy to please he is. And how at this early an age he already understands that it's not the gifts or the pomp and circumstance.... rather, it's the time you spend with loved ones that matters the most. He ceremoniously cut his cakes (one from each set of grandparents) and took delight in handing out each piece. He romped in the turtle pool with his sister and watched TreeHouse to his hearts content. And fell asleep rumpled, breathless, and happy as every little boy should, holding on to his new toy cars.

I adore this little guy. From the moment he took his first breath, and 'til the day I take my last breath, I will always be so thankful he came into my life and how loving him comes so effortlessly. Raising him, like raising any child, has not come without its challenges but being Jacob's mother has shown me beauty and love that I have never experienced before. I cannot believe it's been four years already since he was born. It frightens me a little bit how quickly time flies.

Happy Birthday my beautiful boy. You continue to amaze me every day.

slow day

When things are slow at the fire hall we tend to get a bit antsy... and I hate to admit it, we start craving a good call. Last shift was a snore... we couldn't stop pacing so to kill time, one of the guys brought out his smoker from the back of his truck and we smoked 8 racks of spareribs... one rack per firefighter. Heck, if you can't get called to smoke, might as well create some. :) Paleo pals, I ate the entire rack by myself. :)


But alas, after we digested, we were still bored so what did we do to pass the time? This:
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And because I just couldn't leave well enough alone and simply had to get in on the action:
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TA DA!
The Chief would not be amused.

junk in the trunk

Because my bunker gear weighs enough as it is, I try to keep what's in my pockets to a bare minimum. However, like a woman's purse, I always end up with a whole lotta stuff that I carry around just because I'll need it. The items either get clipped on my gear or stuffed in pockets. Some stuff is essential (like facepiece and fire gloves), other stuff is a bonus (power bars, Tiger Balm)for those 'just in case times'.

Below is a picture of just some of the things I have....



Starting at the top left working counter-clockwise you have my face-piece inside the carry bag that gets clipped to the front of my coat and transferred over to my air-pack, chalk with foam chalk holder case to keep it from shattering, safety glasses with granny strings (so I don't lose them at a call) and glasses case, Tiger Balm (can be used for sore muscles but mostly to dab under my nose at really smelly calls), nomex fire hood to keep my hair and neck from incinerating, fire gloves to stop my hands from doing the same, carabiner (cuz they're just so darn handy), stethescope, pump card (I ALWAYS keep this in my pants pocket when I'm driving... it gives you the coles notes on hydraulic pumping pressures in almost any given situation), extrication gloves, holder with folding rope knife and mini screwdriver, N95 mask. Not shown are my ID tags, ear plugs, power bars (ate them), wood wedge (used it at a call to keep a door open... never found it afterwards), pen (someone always borrows it and fails to return), gum (for when breath is less than fresh during those middle-of-the-night calls). Come to think of it I should add a pack of kleenex but they get all mushy when my gear gets wet. A spare pair of underwear would be great at those scary 'holy crap' calls (no pun intended). And I could add a tube of lipstick but that might be carrying it a bit too far. ;)

Jersey Shore

You'd think that with summer in full throe I'd be spending my spare time frolicking out on the beach. But nope. First of all, I HATE the beach... sitting in the humidity all goopey with sunscreen isn't my idea of fun. So what have I been doing? Apart from working and hanging out with my children, I've been watching some mindless yet highly entertaining television in my nice air conditioned loft. My fave show of the season is Jersey Shore. I'm a tad bit embarrassed to admit that I watched every episode within the course of 3 days. Hey... I was doing chores at the same time so it wasn't time completely wasted. The thing is I love the show. As ridiculous and orange these people are, there is something really funny and endearing about them even though they don't seem very hygienic. Can your hair really be clean full of extensions and hair gel? Will any of them eventually catch a bad case of mono? Don't laugh but I actually like the Ed Hardy t's but I'd look like a cougar if I wore them. As pathetic as it sounds, I can't wait till the new season starts when they hit Miami Beach. Imagine that. Getting paid to party.
Well, they make me laugh out loud anyway. And make the time go by quickly when I'm folding the laundry. And that in itself is enough to make me love these crazy kids. Just glad they're not mine though! ;)

potty mouth

Ok. I've decided it's about time I start minding my language. I've been swearing a lot and I hate to blame the fire house but together as a group, we're pretty bad. The F word is everywhere. But the thing is, it has started to carry over when I get back home and little pitchers have big ears. I don't swear at the kids of course but I did let a swear word or two slip by when I bashed my elbow when I was doing chores. Maiya is at the stage where she is mimicking everything and everyone. Yesterday, she was saying ah-fuck! ah fuck! I just about fainted... until I realized she was pointing out the window trying to say a truck! a truck! Nevertheless, I need to stop being lazy and start using proper words instead of four letter expletives to get my point across. I do have to admit that swearing at work is somehow so damn, I mean darn, I mean, so delightfully satisfying. It's not very professional though. So we have a bet going on at work now. A dollar goes into the pot everytime we're caught cussin'. I'm not sure if I'll win but I'll sure as hell, I mean heck, try. It might be a long road ahead though. Might be easier to just wash my mouth out with a bar of soap.

yours truly

Here's a picture of yours truly that one of the firefighters took after a call at work:
It's one of the very few pictures I like of myself, probably because this photo captures me where I am in my element and most comfortable in my skin and my surroundings. I wish I could bring that comfort level into my own home. Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out motherhood and I'm just making things up as I go along, flying by the seat of my pants, and learning from my children, and from my own mistakes. If you were to take a snapshot of me at home I would be a disheveled sweaty mess, sometimes feeling like a failure, feeling the pressure to get all the things I need to get done but not accomplishing half the tasks I've set out for myself. And often feeling completely worn down. (I don't get a lot of 'atta boys' at home although Jacob did offer me one of his stickers from his star chart when he noticed I had tidied the house.) But at work, for some reason I feel polished, assured, wise and in control. I feel like I have fire instead of blood running through my veins. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because work is my refuge and my haven and it's better than a five star hotel. Maybe it's because the sleepovers are even better than the sleepovers I had as a kid. Maybe it's the uniform. Maybe it's the bunker gear that gives me super human powers. Who knows? Just super glad that I'm headed back on shift in the morning because after a few days off I sure do miss the smell of diesel and smoke. That's the beauty of my job, I am at home long enough to crave being back at work. And I am at work long enough to crave seeing my little family at the end of a shift.

Off to bed. I'm on the ladder truck but gonna try to slide over to the pumper since it's a busier truck and runs more calls. Let's see what tomorrow brings. xo

pic of the day

I am at work right now missing my babes so it was nice when I sat down to open my email to find this picture that my husband sent me of the kids having a quiet moment watching tv and eating snacks.



I swear the kids look bigger everytime I get home. Can't wait to give them a hug in the morning. xo

my split personality

Besides the obvious that it is insane to run into a burning building when everyone else is running out, I think my choice to become a firefighter is a bit of an odd one. I normally hate, hate, hate driving and don't even own a car. I prefer any mode of transport to getting behind a wheel. I mooch my husband's pick up when I need to get to work. But for some reason when I get behind the wheel of a firetruck I just melt into the seat and get comfy and happy driving to calls. Maybe being the biggest vehicle on the road or getting to sound the air horn has something to do with it.

I am also a bit of a wimp. Ask my husband and my crewmates. I can't watch the news because most of it's bad. I can't sit through any type of movie that is horror related with ghosts, or vampires, or blood or guts. But I can run a call like no tomorrow even if there is puke, poo, or any other part of the body that is sticking out when it should be in.

I am also a loner and prefer to just hang out with my little family or just by myself on my days off. I will take a good book and a hot cup of tea to any party, social gathering, and beer. In contrast work is such a social place full of strong personalities where everything is done as a group. The only time I get alone time at work is when I am on the throne and even then I can get interrupted by an alarm call.

So for whatever reason here I am. Odd choice or not, I am a firefighter and there is nothing else in the world I would rather be. There is firefighter me, and at-home me. And come to think of it, I don't know anyone, besides me of course, who has witnessed my two different personas. And I kind of like it that way. ;)

always still my baby

I am not looking forward to the day when I am either not strong enough or my kids are too big for me to carry.

Yesterday Jacob wanted to sleep over at my parents' house. Since we live in a building, it's a treat to visit my parents' as they have a huge yard with a teahouse, deck, sandbox... all backing onto a park that has a splash pad for the kids to run around in. On rainy days, they can hang out in the carport which has basically been converted into an outdoor solarium. So I brought him over and watched him run around and play. After dinner and bath, I waved goodbye. He waved back happily. At 9:30 pm I got a phone call from my mother saying Jacob had big quiet tears rolling down his face. Jacob, was crying that he missed me and that he wanted me to come get him. So I did. I could have told him a million things, that he needed to stay, that it was too late for me to get him, that he chose to sleep over thus a sleep over he was going to have, that he's slept over a million times before so one more night wont' make a difference. But the thing is, I believe as long as his wishes are not ridiculous or far fetched, he should be listened to. And I wanted him to know that mommy or daddy will come get him anytime. Even when he's a teenager and gets drunk somewhere and needs a ride home, I want him to be ok with calling me for me to get him.

Of course he was fast asleep in bed when I arrived and although I could have left him at the house and turned back, I picked him up and put him in the car. As I carried him up to our loft, his head resting on my shoulder and arms wrapped around me, I was reminded of when I was a little girl. I used to pretend to be asleep in the car just so my Dad would carry me into the house. And carry me he did. Just like I will always carry my own children when they need me.

I hope it will be for a long, long, time. xo