Tuesday, June 26, 2012

move over Dear Abby

A dear friend of mine asked me to speak to his son who wasn't having much luck in the dating world.  He wanted me to give him some dating advice and tips which I found quite funny and ironic since I really don't know a thing about the rules of dating in these modern times after being in a relationship for over 11 years, to which, of course you know, fell apart.  I mustered up all the wisdom I had in this area and came up with this.... guys... pay attention now........

Rule number one:  Make her laugh.

Rule number two:  Don't be an asshole.

That's it.  5 cents please.  :)
Every woman wants to be around someone who is happy, and positive, and can find the humour in even the most dire of situations.  And the 'don't be an asshole' encompasses all that icky behaviour that no one in their right mind would put up with....... jealousy, insecurity, unfaithfulness, and any douchebag attitude. Just be honest and up front.  No one should ever fault you for how you feel.  Simple.  :)  Guys, don't go looking for that perfect Barbie doll.  She doesn't exist.  And if she did, I suspect she wouldn't have too much between the ears anyway.  But who am I to say if that is the kind of gal you like.  If that is the case, then no need to read further.   If  you can love your gal even when she is wearing her comfies with nary a stitch of make-up, legs unshaved because she is too damn busy living her life, and her hair  tossed up in a messy ponytail, think about how hot it will be when she does dress up for you.

And girls, after having worked with only men my entire firefighting career I have learned through them the qualities men like so I pass them on here.....

Rule number one:  Laugh at his jokes.

Rule number two:  Don't think you can change who they are.

Again,  there's no room for insecurity, unfaithfuless and bitchy attitude.  If you're having a bad day, call up your girlfriends or your mom.  Don't dump on him.  It ain't fair.  Love a guy for exactly who he is. Hey, we all just want to be accepted for who we are, flaws and all.   Let him hang out with his buddies and crawl into his man cave when he so chooses.  Girls, make sure you have your own life, friends, and activities so you don't drag him down with neediness.  It ain't his job to make your life fulfilling, or happy, or to complete you or to feed you any bullshit lines you hear in those dumb romantic comedies.   Make him your best friend ever, so that you actually have something to talk about years down the line.  And above all, don't beg him to put a ring on your finger.  Who needs that kind of pressure?

I am not sure how I feel about the formality of marriage... this is due to my own bias of a failed marriage.  I think it has served a purpose and a function in history.  As to what, I am not sure.  But for me, my philosophy is to just love and allow yourself to be loved, to be kind to each other in the most respectful of ways.  You can have that without a dj spinning dumb tunes, jordan almonds, and Aunt Bertha doing the macarena.  But I digress........

I guess what I am saying guys and gals, just be your amazing darn good self.  Don't play head games.  But play nice in the sandbox.  And just be happy.  If you aren't happy yourself, you don't stand much of a chance being happy with someone else.

That's it.  That's all I've got.  lol.

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