silence

I love, love, love the quiet that descends upon the firetruck when we are on the way to a call. Sure the sirens and air horns are blaring and the radio chatter goes nonstop but there is this silence, this hush, this ritual that occurs in the back of the truck. We double check our airpacks, put on our hoods, strap on our flashlights and sit ready with our helmets on our laps. We are listening to the updates on the radio and mentally preparing for what might be coming next. It's a powerful, concentrated thing to watch and my favourite part of the call until the good shit hits the fan and we jump off the truck and go off and running to do what we need to do.......

trouble in paradise

It's not always as rosy as it seems at the firehouse. I have witnessed firefighters in screaming matches, things getting thrown around. It can get pretty dramatic. We are, after all, pretty intense people. Being cooped up with the same people you haven't necessarily chosen to be with often does not help. With this damp, cold and rainy weather we have all been pretty miserable and it feels like house arrest hanging out in the fire house itching for the alarm to go so we have an excuse to get out and feel useful. Bickering starts over nothing: who cleans more, who ate the last of the peanut butter, what channel to watch on tv. Asinine problems I know but in the heat of the moment they can be real issues.

I am not immune.

Yesterday was my first shift as Acting Captain but there were some problems off the bat before I even set foot into the station:
1- I had a torn bicep muscle and my arm was in excruciating pain.
2- my children were up the past two nights with fevers and tummy aches and I was exhausted and overwhelmed
3-Aunt Flo decided to pay me an early visit.

So although I was confident and capable and sure footed as I ran the calls, I felt out of sorts and insecure fitting in with this new group of fellas that I have only been with for two weeks. I still haven't learned their working styles, their strengths, their weaknesses and they certainly didn't know mine. And even though I am senior to them, they run the show because it is their station, and they know the neighborhood and the surroundings like the back of their hand.

I can honestly say I learned more about myself as a firefighter during these past 24 hours than I have this past year. It was crazy. It was amazing. And without getting into the gory details, it is why I love this job so much because it pushes me to those mental limits that make me just want to be a better person and a contributer to this profession I love.

I have never been so exhausted in my life. But every bag under my eye and grey hair on top of my head I have proudly earned. Keep bringing it... the learning never stops and I want to continue to learn like I've never learned before. xo

rules of the road

I am not sure what was in the air last shift but it was a day of collisions: cars, pedestrians, cyclists, you name it.
If it's one thing that I learned from observations and simple probable rules of physics, it is that the biggest vehicle wins.
Which is why I drive an F350. A bit too much truck in the city but hey, like I said, biggest car wins. And my precious children sitting in the backseat make the $140 tank fill up worth it.

bad bad day at the firehouse

We had an incident at work that was so traumatic that it was the first time I saw our senior Captain with tears in his eyes. It was a fire call and the outcome was tragic. Brace yourself animal lovers, this picture is not kind:
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Yup. Those were eight beautiful half chickens that were lovingly marinated only to be taken down in flames. Seems my crewmate tending the bbq forgot to turn the heat down. I am just glad it wasn't me. There's nothing worse than 7 hungry firefighters ready to lynch you as they try to figure out how to eat this.

It was hopeless. It was like trying to eat vaporized charcoal.

So, like all good firefighters, the poor bastard who was responsible for this mess did some quick thinking and whipped up a batch of this:

Dinner ice cream sandwiches.

There are worse things I suppose. ;)

the dance

We had a call last shift where the patient suddenly became combative with the paramedic on scene. With unspoken choreography, my crew stepped forward in perfect unison and circled around protectively. I love when we are in sync together like that, doing what we just need to do. Swan Lake couldn't have looked as good as that very moment. This is when I already know that my new crew and I are a true team. Love it.

so far so good

Well, 7 hours into my first shift and so far so good. The guys here are super and made me feel completely welcome. The Platoon Chief and District Chief came down and handed me my stripes, new helmet plaques, and notebook:
I was mildly mortified at all the attention. One of my new crewmates said 'Drink it up girl. You earned and deserve this moment'. I didn't realize how big a step in my career this was until other crews we bumped into at calls started giving me handshakes, hi fives and hugs. I can't tell you how special these small gestures have made me feel. Well, I can I suppose. These small gestures made me feel like one of the boys and I think being a woman in a man's world, this means more to me than you can possibly imagine. :) I couldn't have done it without some really great leadership and people backing me.

No one pinch me.

butterflies and more new beginnings

I start at my new station tomorrow. As an Acting Captain. I am mildly freaking out, in a good way of course. I have big boots to fill. The previous Acting at the station was amazingly capable and respected. I feel like a bit of a rookie again. Like it's my first day at school. There was some smack talk from another shift that got back to me saying although I kicked ass in the exam I won't be able to handle the pressure at a bad call. Guy who said that of course doesn't have the balls to say it to my face though. And interestingly enough, he scored lower than me on the exam. If it's one thing I've learned after all these years on the job, is that I don't have to smack back. I'm just gonna keep doing what I have always done, put my head down and dig deep and work ten times harder than everyone else. The proof is in the pudding. And baby, this girl can bake. xo

snot

Last shift was crazy. You know when you take in a bit too much smoke at a call when you blow your nose and everything that comes out is all black.
Too much information, I know, but hey, just wanted to share. Lol. ;)