Instead of trying to be happy, I look for moments of happiness throughout the day. Today my children and I found a lavendar bush in the heart of downtown so that was something to smile about. Some days the moments linger longer than others. Other days I have to dig really deep. I will dig all the way to China if I have to, anything to stop me from falling into the abyss of depression. I keep telling myself that I am in a tunnel, not a hole. And at some point I will make my way through to see daylight on the other side. And although I give in to the tears, I refuse to become bitter. There is no room in my heart for that.
Time marches on.
About Me
- firemama
- I am a professional firefighter in a busy metropolitan city who somehow made it to Acting Captain along the way. I am a mother and doing the best I can to balance these two very different worlds. I am a lover of red meat (cooked medium rare) and live in a funky loft with my 2 very loud and loveable kids. We manage to all get along despite the fact we only have one bathroom and zero privacy. I am a demon if I don't get in a daily workout or get out for some fresh air. I am a neat freak. My kids, of course, are not. I prefer shooting with my 35mm Nikon to any fancy digital camera out there.... only because I am hopelessly analog. My favourite sound in the world is hearing my children laugh. My second favourite sound in the world is silence. This is my blog on what it's like to be a chick in a man's world, a mother in these crazy times, and a woman who perhaps foolishly thinks she has found the meaning of life.
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LOL.. dig all the way to China. I remember that..as a kid, I honestly thought I could dig myself into another country.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Look out for those reminders that make you smile. They're always there...
((((hugs)))))
How' you holding up? It's been a while. R U OK?
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