blessings

I know more than anything that I am in exactly the right place when it comes to my job. Because I always feel a bit of a letdown when the shift is over and I count the days and hours until I head back to work. You see, even though there are aspects of my work that deal with the harshest of human reality, I feel like I am in dream land because even the dirtiest of calls leave me high and walking on air. But at the same time, the job keeps me grounded and humbled by the things I get to see. The job balances my life out perfectly and after a shift I race back to the familiar comfort of my own home and run into the outstretched arms of my husband and children. And soon as I've had enough of the household craziness, it's time to head back into work again. I was criticized the other day for sending my kids to daycare on the days I'm off shift. But the thing is, there are certain things I need to do... like clean the house which takes at least a couple hours a day, meal prep, and mostly, take care of myself.. which might include going to the gym, or going for a coffee with a friend without a babe in tow. And basically just give myself a chance to breathe. I know I wouldn't be an effective mother if I had the children underfoot all the time. No tomatoes please, but I don't believe in living for my kids. It's unfair to me and my kids to live up to that kind of expectation. Although there are moments I feel pangs of guilt that I go cross eyed with boredom and I'm not that mommy that enjoys playgroups and sing-a-longs and baby-and-me yoga, I do know one thing.... that to be the best mother to my children, I need to be the best person to myself. I think people need to start breaking the myth that you have to be everything to your children. There are many out there who can give love as well, and I know I've said it before but it is good for children to know that the world out there is full of people who love them besides mommy. I believe the only thing we have to be to our children is to be loving and forgiving of ourselves when we perceive that we don't measure up and mostly, we, as mothers, just have to relax and enjoy the ride. I'll never be the perfect mother.... but I wouldn't want to be either.... xo

Happy Mother's Day. xo