ghost ache

On milestone days like today, being the first day of school, I miss my intact family unit. I do not miss my marriage but I miss what my idea of marriage was supposed to be. However, simply put, it was not, so no point in crying over spilled milk. We still work as a team, because to raise children it takes a village and thankfully, we have the maturity and insight to not let our past hurts and woes play on our kids. After all, they did not choose for their parents to split. So we will do everything in our power to give them the most stable upbringing as possible. I hope Jacob and Maiya know that they are surrounded by love wherever they go and that our adult choices are not a reflection of their self-worth. I truly believe as a result of the marital unit breaking up we are all happier and more at peace with ourselves. We can now create the life we want instead of living the million have to's that we ridiculously seemed to have imposed on each other. I have said this in the past, and I will say it here again, sometimes the best way to love someone is to let them go..... even if vows were spoken.... so that they can follow their heart and catch their bliss.  Even if that means that bliss doesn't include me.  And I am ok with that.  Because my bliss is me.... embracing my life for everything that it is and realizing me and my children are not missing out on anything for what it is not.