There's always something about this time of year that makes me a bit Grinchy. Perhaps it's the incessant Muzak Christmas carols that play at every store you walk into. Perhaps it's because people look stressed out all the time from the shopping. Perhaps it's because everyone seems to be driving like maniacs... and I don't even want to think about the drunk drivers that may be out there after imbibing too much spiked eggnog. Perhaps because there are moments when I feel utterly hopeless about the fact that in a country as great as ours there are children who go hungry everyday and a little piece of my heart breaks if I think about this too much. I detest the overconsumption, the consumerism, the craziness of Chistmas. Up to the moment I had children, I always took the Chistmas shift because the firehouse is my haven, a place without the pressure of the holidays, where you can break bread without having to wear that horrible sweater aunt so-and-so gave you. And where maybe you can help someone in their time of need. Half the time the calls we get at Chistmas are from people who are alone or just lonely. These are the people I want to be with because I feel like they need me the most.
Despite my bah-humbugness, I do believe that there is something magical about this time of year... I get to reflect on the amazing things that have come into my life which I am so grateful for and sometimes I wonder what a girl like me ever did to deserve two beautiful children and an incredibly supportive husband. I am grateful for my firefighting family who always has my back and are like blood brothers to me. I am grateful for the sense of community they give me, the feeling of safety and security and the bond of friendship that comes through doing what we do for a living.
Perhaps this is why I personally don't need Christmas. It's here everyday when I see my little family and everyday I step into work.
Peace and love. xo