It was my daughter's birthday this weekend and while I expected to be a bit sad at the fact that she is growing up so quickly, I am actually quite excited by the fact that she is two! Except for the fact she has started her wicked tantrums. Jacob's only lasted a few months when he was that age so I am hoping her terrible two's won't last too long. It's all par for the course I suppose.... being part of children's developmental stage. But still, when she starts freaking out over something seemingly mundane I just want it to head for the hills. I have found out the best thing with Maiya is to just walk away to another room. And she sorts herself out within a few minutes. I find it interesting that when Jacob was that age I had to coddle and cajole to calm him down but Maiya just wants her space to be left alone. Kind of like me when I get upset.
I find it interesting how my children, apart from one being a boy and the other being a girl, are so inherently different in personalities. Jacob is the gentle, sensitive old soul, who sees things well beyond his years. Maiya is the willful, independent child and she keeps me on my toes. Where Jacob is the hope for the future, Maiya is the one who heals my past. I understand my mother a bit better now, in the decisions she made in raising me.... sometimes only being able to make a decision out of necessity instead of choice. I finally understand a mother's pain, sadness, and let's not forget fatigue. It scares me sometimes that I will never be able to completely protect them from broken hearts and life's disappointments. But as a mother, there is also that oh so pure, unadulterated joy....like when my son first looked into my eyes when he was born, and when I giggle when my daughter is up to her impish antics because she reminds me of me.
I won't lie. It hasn't been easy balancing life with a career and children. And there are days when I pine for my single days. But every mother out there can attest to the fact that life would certainly not be as rich and colourful without our children. Because like I said, they are the hope for the future, and they heal our past.