very late

Nope, not pregnant. (thank goodness!)


Just late.
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Finally getting around to posting a Hallowe'en picture.


It was a ton of fun apart from Maiya's initial meltdown when she didn't want to wear her wings.


Jacob was thrilled to be Bob the Builder again and Maiya, once she got her wings off was happy to just romp through the neighbourhood. Nothing much more to say except that I am grateful for the neighbours that gave out stickers, crayons, playdough and little toys instead of candy. Thankfully Jacob was happy to give most of his candy away to the share with the 'firemen' at work and Maiya forgot about her stash altogether.

birthday

It was my daughter's birthday this weekend and while I expected to be a bit sad at the fact that she is growing up so quickly, I am actually quite excited by the fact that she is two! Except for the fact she has started her wicked tantrums. Jacob's only lasted a few months when he was that age so I am hoping her terrible two's won't last too long. It's all par for the course I suppose.... being part of children's developmental stage. But still, when she starts freaking out over something seemingly mundane I just want it to head for the hills. I have found out the best thing with Maiya is to just walk away to another room. And she sorts herself out within a few minutes. I find it interesting that when Jacob was that age I had to coddle and cajole to calm him down but Maiya just wants her space to be left alone. Kind of like me when I get upset.

I find it interesting how my children, apart from one being a boy and the other being a girl, are so inherently different in personalities. Jacob is the gentle, sensitive old soul, who sees things well beyond his years. Maiya is the willful, independent child and she keeps me on my toes. Where Jacob is the hope for the future, Maiya is the one who heals my past. I understand my mother a bit better now, in the decisions she made in raising me.... sometimes only being able to make a decision out of necessity instead of choice. I finally understand a mother's pain, sadness, and let's not forget fatigue. It scares me sometimes that I will never be able to completely protect them from broken hearts and life's disappointments. But as a mother, there is also that oh so pure, unadulterated joy....like when my son first looked into my eyes when he was born, and when I giggle when my daughter is up to her impish antics because she reminds me of me.

I won't lie. It hasn't been easy balancing life with a career and children. And there are days when I pine for my single days. But every mother out there can attest to the fact that life would certainly not be as rich and colourful without our children. Because like I said, they are the hope for the future, and they heal our past.

xo

just gross

I'm not a person who gets grossed out easily. I can deal with death in every shape (or mishape) and form, blood, guts, vomit, poop, you name it. I might flinch a little on the inside but generally I can hold my own and very little will phase me. The other day at work however, I nearly ran away screaming when I saw this:
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It was my crew mate's breakfast. Oatmeal with peanut m&m's mixed in. G-R-OSS.

in charge

Well, ran my first call and Incident Commander..... lol. Now it's not as 'official' as it sounds. What happened was that we had a rush of calls that weren't too serious in nature so my Captain, on the way to a grassfire said 'Here's the radio, you're in charge and get to it'. So I did. :)

I took command and hit the appropriate benchmarks and when all was said and done, terminated command. Only stuttered maybe once or twice. I think the most nerve wracking thing was talking into that blasted radio. I've done it a million times as a driver but it's different when you're at the helm and dispatch is hanging onto every word. Also knowing that my colleagues and any member of the public with a scanner can listen in on the call gave me a bit of stage fright. But my crewmates were really supportive and I'm just happy that my Captain gave me the opportunity to practice taking command. Just like becoming a firefighter, becoming an officer doesn't happen overnight. It takes time, experience and a support network of great mentors. I realized one thing at this call as an 'officer' that it's really hard to step back and just take charge of the call without doing the grunt work. I kept wanting to jump in to hit the hydrant, pull the hose, grab a shovel. But I didn't because it's impossible to oversee the entire situation that way. It made me realize how different that position is and that if I ever do get to that point of sitting in the front seat, how much I will miss being a 'boot'. But in the meantime, it's nice to have a taste of 'the other side'..... gives me whole lot of respect for the Captains who keep us safe at calls. Especially at those calls where everything seems to be blowing up simultaneously.