countdown begins

November 25th today. Exactly one month until Christmas. I never liked Christmas in general in part because I am a heathen, but mostly because I find the commercialism and the saccharin sweet muzak played throughout the malls the second Halloween is over to be simply nauseating. And Santa, wasn't his image as we know it invented by Coca-Cola?

Although I don't think I will ever be a fan of Christmas, I was slowly won over by the spirit of Christmas when I became a firefighter. Christmas Day was the first shift I ever worked. I had just graduated from Training and finally came on the floor as a full fledged firefighter. It was the best Christmas present I could have ever asked for.

There is something magical about working on Christmas. We set up a tree... usually some plasticky (and I am sure flammable!), lopsided, sad looking Charlie Brown tree that someone found in their Aunt's basement or at the local Goodwill but I love it all the more because it's the firehouse tree. Neighbours of the firehouse always stop by with cookies and clementines and hot chocolate. Turkey and all its trimmings get started soon as shift begins. And I have to attest that it is far better and more civilized sharing a meal with the boys than some of my relatives from my extended family. There is less baggage... that's for sure. And even if we get interrupted by a call during our meal, we don't care. It is Christmas after all and somebody needs us. And I think that is why I love working the holidays..... it is nice to be needed... and nice to be of help. And when I can help, that is when I am the most centred and at peace.

Now that I have children, I get to see Christmas through a child's eyes. Last year Jacob picked out his own real tree and his face shone like the North star. And for reasons like this, I won't be working Christmas this year. But I may just have to swing by the station with kids in tow anyway.... Christmas or not, you can't keep me away from the firehouse for long. ;) xo

eat your heart out Hallmark

Sigh....... another day on the calendar invented by Hallmark. Kids get it... they make the best homemade cards. Fathers and husbands, I could save you five bucks and a trip to the corner store with some of your own homemade mother's day card ideas like: Happy Mother's Day ! You look great for not having showered in 3 days and not sleeping more than 4 hours in a row. Or how about: Happy Mother's Day! Don't worry... those skinny jeans in the back of your closet will fit you one day soon and I still love you even though you wear saggy track pants now. And: Happy Mother's Day! I don't miss your gourmet cooking from scratch one bit... Kraft Dinner and take-out pizza is just fine.

The concept of Mother's Day is noble but I pity the folk running around town trying to find the perfect bouquet of overpriced flowers or try and make a reservation for brunch. I think today should be Mother Theresa Day. She was one heck of a selfless Mother although she bore no children. Or today could be more aptly name Motherload Day for the cash that the florists and Bell long distance are raking in... Or Mother Tucker's Day... for those of you who know that restaurant, they make one heck of a buffet. But alas, it is Mother's Day. For me, so far it has been a day like any other with a 6 am wake up but what is extra special is that my husband isn't working today and we went to the pool to take Jacob swimming and we had lunch.... with Maiya not making a peep as usual so we could enjoy it. And now my husband is driving in circles around town to get our son, who would rather play all day, to nap. I am fortunate that I have a husband who is so hands-on with child-rearing. I don't know how I could manage without him. I will take the togetherness of our family today over any perfectly written Hallmark card or trip to the spa..... well... maybe a trip to the spa if I haven't showered in 3 days. And at that point it wouldn't be a gift... it would be a big hint.

But, kidding aside, I dedicate this day to all the single mothers out there doing a fantastic job raising your babies and to the children and to those whose mothers are no longer part of this realm. And to the caregivers who 'mother' my son so beautifully while he is in daycare. And of course to all the mothers simply enjoying motherhood. It is certainly one fantastic roller coaster ride that no Hallmark card can even begin put into words.

fancy pants

So it was my birthday this month and I am admitting to the world out there that I am pushing 40! Does this mean I am middle aged? Next year I will be turning the big Four-Oh. But in Asian years that means I am really 30 right?

I don't feel my age... well, I guess I do after a sleepless night and when I look really closely in the mirror and see my wrinkles forming and the grey hairs that seem to keep coming in. Birthdays depress me a bit. Not because I am getting older but because there is this tiny bit of expectation that this day should be more special than the other 364 days. I do, however, love celebrating my kids' birthdays. They are milestones. Because I had such amazing planned home births with them I am actually celebrating my 'birth' days. One year when I was on shift for my birthday my husband and some friends came by the firehall. They brought a cake to share with the crew and a little joke gift for moi. Of course I had to try it on to see if it fit.
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My birthday suit...
We took lots of pictures to commemorate the day and of course I can't find the others but when I do I will post them. Chief, if you're reading this I did take the outfit off before I ran the next call. Promise.

Easter shmeester

Am I a bunny boiler if I say I am not into Easter or holidays for that matter? This weekend I kinda wish I was at work. I love working on holidays and will go as far as swinging shifts so that I can purposely work a holiday... traffic is light, people are especially grateful to see you at a call, and the guys are always in a festive mood. Perhaps it's for reasons like my own... I prefer to be with the guys than deal with all the crazy family holiday stuff which usually ends up being more stressful trying to be polite to relatives I don't like or who just plain creep me out. But at the firehall, my refuge and home away from home, be it Christmas, or Thanksgiving and even Halloween, it's nice to just hang out and cook a good meal and share banter without the pressure of having to be all smiley and nice. But I'm sure as the kids get older, holidays will be more fun for me. It's not that I am a total Grinch or Scrooge, I just feel that holidays are so commercial and materialistic and that just bugs me. But just to prove that once in awhile I do get into the spirit of things, here's a pic of last Halloween with Jacob and Maiya who was still a bump. See? I am wearing wings AND I am smiling.



Don't get me wrong, my intention is there... I bought the stuff to colour Easter eggs but I'm kinda nervous putting food dye into my son's hands... he's still a bit too young and as far as the egg hunt goes, he doesn't like chocolate. Jacob would rather eat cheese over chocolate but I can't exactly go around hiding that under my couch. Maiya is barely a new hatchling herself so she blissfully doesn't know what's going on.

I think the next time Easter rolls around and I am at the firehall I may just surprise the guys and hide chocolate eggs in the middle of the night. Oh the places I could hide them! They would think I was being a nerd but I know they would secretly love it. It would be cute to see the looks on their faces as they act all cool trying not to care but really vying to nab more treats than the guy next to them. I might even get them bunny ears but that might be pushing it.

Anyway, Happy Easter everyone! There. I said it.