week deux

I'm on week two of my vacay. It is so hard not being on shift today. I know I'm an addict because soon as I am away from the firehall I start to get the jitters and start jonesing for the smell of cinders and ashes and the wail of the sirens. I miss my brotherhood. And I'll be darned if they go and have a three alarm without me today!

as the red light turns

I've always wanted to write some type of soap opera based on fire house living called 'As the Red Light Turns' or something like that. There is constantly an interesting, gossipy, or disturbing happening going on usually filled with high octane drama. What I find truly interesting as a female observer at our fire house is that men can and do gossip with the best of them. I've mentioned the saying before that if you want to spread some news around you 'telephone, telegraph or tell a firefighter'. I've tested that theory. And it works better than smoke signals and morse code. What is ironic is that most often the guys who dish it out the most are the ones who can take it the least. I have had my fair share of ribbing... and the way I've survived apart from growing some shoulders and some teflon skin, is to not show any chinks in the armour. Because once they know what gets to you, they'll pick at your scabs until you yell mercy. But I think the only thing worse than getting picked on is not getting picked on. When you're being ignored that's when you know you're in trouble. To be ostracized at the fire house would be an unimaginable fate. You do not want to get kicked off the island. I have seen it happen at other stations and you do not want to be that guy having to put your own flame out 'after the tribe has spoken'.

laughs and giggles

Well, it hasn't been all doom and gloom at the firehouse. After a rash of bad calls and even worse moods I feel like I'm back to my old self again. Although I must say the guys may sometimes prefer me when I'm a bit more serious (and not pulling pranks!). For some reason when I get the giggles I can't stop laughing. For. Hours. And it gets contagious. I just have to look at a crewmate and the giggles will set off. There were a few times when I literally had to step into the bathroom to try and gain my composure. The only thing that will wipe the grin off my face is when the alarm goes but inside I'm still grinning and doing the 'happy-fire-dance'. But anyway, for whatever reason one of my crewmates and I couldn't stop laughing while we were in the kitchen and I managed to grab a picture. My crewmate is gonna kill me if he sees that I posted his face but there is nothing more I love than sharing a big laugh and his grin is cute to boot so I hoping he won't mind too much. If I'm ever having a bad day I can just pull up this pic and it will set off the giggles again. Laughter IS the best medicine. xo

my continuing journey

I don't think I truly thought this whole firefighting thing through when I decided to take on this job. One of my blessings that is also a curse is that I don't think too far into the future and I make decisions based in the now. This helps me in the fact that I don't worry too much about what's going to happen a decade from now, but is also a hinderance because my choices can create some problems. For example, I am not the first female firefighter who is a mother, nor will I be the last. But I have to say that it has been a challenge and a juggle and I have had to make a lot of compromises in my life. It is not easy being a woman in the fire service. The gals I know on the job make it look easy but trust me, it's not. It is certainly fun and satisfying in so many ways but it is a tough, challenging job that takes its toll the more years you have under your belt. I pray menopause doesn't hit me for another 10 years and osteoperosis never kicks in. There are days that, mentally and physically, I do not thrive. As much as I am determined to keep my two 'lives' of motherhood and firefighting apart, recently, my two worlds have been colliding and I have been spinning on my axis at warp speed. I have been bringing my job home which is something I rarely ever do. Some of the calls have hung over me like a dark cloud and some decisions made at the scene by others have left me shaking my head in frustration and left me irritable beyond words. Normally I doff my firefighting job the minute I don my civilian clothes. And normally when I get to work I can push aside the responsibilities I have at home and just enjoy my 24 hour tour at work. But lately home 'stuff' has been nagging me: I've been snapping at my husband and children and feeling resentful at the lack of 'me' time. I know these feelings are normal being a working mother but still...... there are some days I wish I were superhuman and could do it all with a smile and nary a complaint. The guys at work can see the wrinkles beginning to fracture my face. At least I can talk to them about what I feel. They've been a great sounding board.

Not sure why I'm writing this post but perhaps it's because I met a gal who was bubbling over with enthusiasm about wanting to become a firefighter. I was faced with making the decision of telling her the truth of the uphill climb and struggles she will face or of painting a rosy picture. I could tell her the benefits are great, uniforms cool, shifts are decent, or I could tell her she will see things that will rattle her to the core and be under physical duress that is at times unbearable and the intensity of the heat and physical exertion will make you want to throw up in your mask. I decided to tell her my truth... that firefighting is as much a part of me as the children I birthed and the air I breathe. And that I have fire for blood. I told her my truth because looking back a decade ago, I was exactly this young woman. And nothing would have stopped me anyway no matter what anyone could have told me because my journey to becoming a firefighting mother was my own to discover.

time to go

I see this phenomenon happen all to often when it comes to firefighters who are close to retirement: they seem scared and tentative when they should be taking the bull (or the red devil!) by the horns. They'll find ways to delay getting on and off the truck, park as far away as possible from the scene, or disappear at the scene altogether. They seem to do anything they can to avoid getting the job done... which annoys me to no end. I assume all of us become firefighters because we love to help the community, the challenges, and the hard grunt work but as the twilight years approach I see one too many Captains tell the driver to take their sweet time getting there. Besides the obvious legal implications and the simple fact that lost seconds can mean lost lives, I finally figured out why many of the-soon-to-be-retired within the fire department (and perhaps other emergency service divisions) are lollygaggers: they're scarred by too many memories of bad calls. They want to retire in one piece without any mental or physical injury, they're sick of seeing death and tragedy, and they are hanging back to bide the next few months until their last shift. I can understand their point of view but I think when you're no longer in the game, it's time to go because as a crew member, it is so important to have great leadership. I don't want them to hang on just to keep building up their pension. Money is not the reason to get this job nor stay on the job. I do not want to ever sense that my Captain is scared shitless because that is unnerving at a call... especially when the scene is blowing up all around you... I need to know that my Captain knows exactly what to do and take charge. I need to know that he is in control. That he will keep us safe. That he is not going to save himself at the expense of his entire crew. It is the most horrible feeling when the crew feels like we're on its own to make the decisions... it feels like you're being fed to the wolves. At this point I'm not sure who is looking forward to these Captains' retirements: us or them. Till then... let's just get through all the calls in one piece.

Be safe.

roller coaster ride of emotions

I'm in a bad way today. Maybe because my back is killing me from being stupid and lifting some dumbass weights the wrong way. Maybe because as always, I never get enough sleep and can't even put a dent on my spring cleaning even though the summer is almost over. Maybe because I saw one maggot too many on a rotting carcass as I was finishing up shift this morning. Maybe because I am still haunted by a call at our station..... the guys on my previous shift responded to a drowning. It was a hot afternoon church bbq/pool party when a guest noticed a boy at the bottom of the pool. Police/fire/paramedics arrived and worked on this little guy as his mother was trying to drag him away to the safety of her arms, as if holding him could make everything better. Paramedics got a pulse back and he was rushed to hospital then was airlifted to critical care. I am not even sure how to write this because the emotions are so raw. The attending paramedic came by later to our station to give an update and said that the child no longer has brain activity and his organ function is gone. And mom cannot say goodbye and shut off life support. So there he lies quietly in his hospital bed and the only noise is the whoosh of the ventilaor machines and the beep, beep, beeping. He is alive, but at the same time not. Forgive me for being so graphic. But some calls I can process. This one I am not so sure. My heart hurts so much for this mother that I don't even know.

I want to cry. But I can't. So I write. Her little boy is the same age as my son.... four. My Jacob, who in moments will be bursting through the door like a sunshine tornado. I finally understand what my own mother means when she says that it's good for children to be loud and jump around because that's what they are supposed to do.

Extra hugs and kisses and 'I love you's' tonight... that is for sure.

But my day hasn't been completely terrible. A crewmate that I worked with just received a new heart! This firefighter caught some weird virus that damaged his heart to the point it was like having an 80 year old heart stuck in his 40 year old body. It's quite possible he caught this virus on the job but it's hard to tell. In any event, he's been on disability for a few years waiting for a heart donor. And it came! And the surgery was successful! And even though he will probably never be a front-line firefighter again, he will certainly be back working for the fire department soon and be able to chase after his young daughter and enjoy many, many years with his beautiful wife.

So in some strange way, the greatest highs are able to cancel out the greatest lows. Thank goodness for that because I'd otherwise be out of my mind.

slow day

When things are slow at the fire hall we tend to get a bit antsy... and I hate to admit it, we start craving a good call. Last shift was a snore... we couldn't stop pacing so to kill time, one of the guys brought out his smoker from the back of his truck and we smoked 8 racks of spareribs... one rack per firefighter. Heck, if you can't get called to smoke, might as well create some. :) Paleo pals, I ate the entire rack by myself. :)


But alas, after we digested, we were still bored so what did we do to pass the time? This:
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And because I just couldn't leave well enough alone and simply had to get in on the action:
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TA DA!
The Chief would not be amused.

ice cream remedy

I have yet to figure out if my relationship with my crew is more akin to roommates or old married couples minus the sex. Just by constantly working and being together, we get to know each other quite well, in a bickery, intimate way. I don't know if it's the humidity but we've all been a bit grumpy with one another. Every call we had seemed to be the farthest from where we happened to be and traffic for some reason had no clue that when a fire engine is coming down the street lights and sirens you must PULL OVER AND STOP. PLEASE!!! That and the fact that we ran 5 calls after 11 pm didn't help.... especially since they were to the same place and all false alarms. I dragged my poor arse home trying not to fall asleep at the wheel.... and I slept my day off away..... from 9 am to 2:30 pm!

We all have our quirks and our moods and our idiosyncracies. Some days what one might find utterly charming, the next day it might be completely annoying. I can be abnormally sensitive to my crewmates moods. The guys know this and if I can't remedy the situation with a smile or a hug, then after the next call, while the truck is out, I'll make a stop for a huge tub of cherries jubilee ice cream. That and a big pot of coffee and us enjoying a break and some conversation gets us back to our cheerful selves in no time.

We had a big rain last night so things have cooled off, and hopefully some of the tempers..... We're back on shift tomorrow. Maybe I'll bring in a tub or two of ice cream for extra insurance. xo

firefighters have curves

I often get asked why I chose to become a firefighter when there are a plethora of jobs that are deemed more 'suitable' for a woman. The simple answer would be that I'm made for this job. I have the genetics that make me strong giving me the advantage of height and heft, I understand the physics of fire and have a knack for hydraulics and the mechanics of operating different types of fire trucks. I love working with the public and crews. You don't need to be a man to do these things well. But having said all this, there are some inherent challenges to being a female firefighter and living life in the firefighting culture:

No matter how new or how much seniority you have, as a female firefighter, you are always being watched and judged. You will often be questioned about your ability, either by your colleagues or by the public. Because females make up 2% of the firefighting population, we stick out like a sore thumb and as such, we are not able to fade in the crowd. Everyone knows your name and this isn't always a good thing. If there isn't a rumour about you already, one will be made up. Any mistake made is magnified ten times over. All the female firefighters I know have very thick skins. I wear mine like a badge of honour. Thank God I have a sense of humour and never really give a rats ass what people think of me on or off the job.

A guy can go with his crew off shift and party and act like a dumbass and no one will blink an eye. Should a female firefighter do the same, her actions may haunt her for the rest of her career. There is that fine line between friendliness and flirtation. And while you want to be friendly and easy-going with the guys you work with, taking things a step further isn't the wisest choice. Things are usually fine until the big breakup then camps get divided. And the guys will remember you for who you dated rather than the great work you do on the job. The saying never sh*t where you eat applies here. As much as I would love to socialize with the guys off the job, if it's at an event where there is tons of booze being consumed, I tend to pass. Once I saw a captain who was so wasted he stripped down to his tighty whities. To this day I have a hard time taking him seriously, let alone am I able to look him straight in the eye. The image of him dancing on a table in skivvieis enough to send me to therapy.

The physical demands of the job are demanding. On everyone. Male or female. Firefighting is tough and not gentle on the body. For the women, add a pregnancy or two, the body doesn't get much of a chance to rest. After some days on the job, I crawl back home bone tired only to continue with my work running a household. This I suspect will not get any easier as I age. I do not look forward to menopause. The day I fear breaking a hip dismounting from the firetruck is the day I hang up my helmet. But as bad menopause might be for the gals, it might be far worse for the guys while we unleash on them as we go through it. Or fight to lower the station thermostat. Dudes, payback is a bitch. lol

Even if I won the lottery, I would still go into work because I love the chaos, the dirt, and the unknown that comes with the territory. And there is no other place apart from my own little family, that I feel as needed, loved and respected in spite of the ups and downs. Female or not, firefighting is my dream job. And while I may never be the greatest, the strongest nor the best, I am darn good at what I do. And that's all that really matters at the end of the day... and to be able to include myself in this band of brothers. xo

aye aye mon capitaine

During the course of my career, I have had a total of nine different fire captains. Sounds like a lot but it's not really. In the first six months each rookie is assessed by two different captains. If it's a one truck hall, you report to one captain, and if there are two or more trucks, you report to your assigned captain but really, you report to the other captains as well since you can interchange trucks and crews on any given day. You might get a new captain if they retire or get promoted, or if you get assigned to a new station, or get moved to another shift. There are some great captains. And there are also some good and not so good ones. The great ones are the ones who not only have the fire ground experience, but more importantly have the people skills and lead by example. The good ones are the ones with less experience and are wise enough to rely on the talent of their crew when they are unsure in their decision making. The bad ones are the ones who, because they have a few extra stripes on their shoulders, are quick to boss around those who don't, and micro manage or belittle to get their point across. Fortunately, they rarely get away with that kind of behaviour for long. Because for every one captain, there are four firefighters and four firefighters sticking together can pull a mutiny when necessary. And sometimes, no matter how amazing a captain is, try as you might, things may not click simply because of lack of chemistry.

I have had all three types of captains.... the great, the good, and the not so good. Of course I would always prefer to have a great captain, but the thing is, no matter what type of captain, you can still learn a lot: you learn how to be or not to be, how to rely on yourself and your crew if you can't rely on your captain and you learn to pick your fights or when to let things slide. And most of all, you learn that no matter who your leadership is, you are still who you are and nobody can take that away from you.

I am eligible to write my acting captain's exam next year. And I am still deciding whether or not I am captain material or if I even want to be in that position of being somewhat apart from the crew simply by being their superior. I've never like playing the boss. (Well, except when it comes to the household.. ha ha). Part of me is excited by the prospect of challenging myself and facing my own fears and stepping everything up a notch but the other part of me is not sure if I can dedicate 6 months to study for the exam while I am raising two young children. And if promoted, I will have to switch to another crew and perhaps even another shift. And this would be a bit devastating because I have never been happier with the the crew that I have. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. I will probably give it a shot. The worst thing that happens is that I learn a thing or two along the way by studying. And the best thing is that no matter what, promoted or not, I will still remain a firefighter which is, and for me will always be, the best gig in the world. :)

manopause?

Like all families, the fire hall gang is not without its own dynamics. Not sure if it was a full moon but during yesterday's shift, one of the guys with the most seniority decided to show his alpha dog stripes and started barking and unleashing his frustration about something seemingly mundane... and totally not worth losing sleep over. Normally I don't have a problem with this.... after all, we all have our bad days. Except that this dude was freaking on moi. Because the fire department is a paramilitary organization, I should technically defer to anyone who has more seniority than me. And in normal circumstances I would.... BUT.... because this guy kept barking at me long after his point was made, I was starting to lose my cool. If it's one thing I've learned in my almost ten years on the job, if you don't stand up for yourself, no one else will. And unless you're yelling at me to hustle because your ass or someone's else's is on fire, when it comes to yelling, I'm just sayin' don't. Nothing gets accomplished and nothing erodes morale more quickly. So, as this dude kept barking, I finally just barked back. This mama bear's roar is bigger than any dog's bite. Maybe not the most mature way for me to handle things but it quieted him down anyway.

Geez..... and everyone was so worried way back when that women on the job were going to be the moody ones.

the big four O

Well, I turned forty yesterday! And I have to say I had THE BEST birthday ever! I'm not one to really celebrate my birthday... not because I dread getting older but rather it's just that I prefer to lay low and chill. I happened to be on shift for my fortieth and just wanted to spend the day doing what I love most.... working and running calls. But my crewmates would have none of that. They wanted to celebrate so they did in typical firehall style. It began calmly with birthday wishes then the ribbing began... the teasing about me being middle-aged, calling me a 'cougar', making sure I didn't break a hip getting off the truck, and trying to find all my white hairs. And it went on and on...... All.Day.Long. And I couldn't stop laughing. I feel so privileged to be working with such an amazing group of guys. They made me my favourite dinner.... steak with mushrooms and onions, rapini, and baked sweet potato.


And what blew me away is that they made me cupcakes.... complete with sprinkles and candles, dimmed the lights and sang Happy Birthday and 'For She's a Jolly Good Fellow'. Now if you could picture a bunch of tough guys singing off key by candlelight, it's pretty touching. And one of the guys took pictures to boot and sent them to me so I could remember.....


And because the kids wanted to take part in the 'birthday party', my husband emailed a picture our babes with the flowers they picked out for me::


The guys packed up the leftover cupcakes for me to take home and share with the kids. They don't get sugary treats that often so they were in heaven. Maiya was loving it so much she started eating the paper wrapper which I had to pry out of her mouth.


I've said it before and I'll say it again. Life rocks. I'm one lucky lady. xo

cleanliness is next to godliness

There's nothing I love more than a hot, hot bath except perhaps a hot, hot shower. It gets a little tricky when it comes to work though because a shower at work can be touch and go.

The night before I head into shift, I take a shower since this way I can just basically roll out of bed and head to work. I can get through the day still feeling quite fresh until we get a stinky call or we've been running around sweating or I've just finished a work-out. Summers of course are obviously worse. Then I am wanting/needing a shower by the late afternoon. (Or rather my crew is wanting/needing me to shower). But Murphy's law has it where soon as you start to get all sudsy and feel like belting out a few showtunes in the shower stall, inevitably the alarms go off and you have to figure out how to get your undies, shirt, pants, socks and boots on, get on the truck and wheels turning withing a minute and a half. (Yes, we are timed from when the alarm goes to when we leave the station... has to be under a minute and a half and we are supposed to arrive at the call within four minutes). It's even worse when I'm driving because I should be the first one on the truck to figure out the map and see where we're going and I have to radio that we're on the way. So, some days I just can't shower at work. Not so bad if I haven't been sweating.... uber bad if I have. Good thing I have many uniforms and just change into a fresh one. And at least now that I'm in a newer station I do have my own bathroom and shower. In the older stations I'd have to share with the guys and take turns. And even though I am no prude, that was always a bit weird. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever showered at those stations.... ewwwww, I know but what's a girl to do? Thank goodness for deodorant is all I can say.

feeling it

Mwuwahahaha....... yesterday's shift was a freaking blast. I was on the pumper which is the busier truck and forty minutes into the shift we had our first call..... and then they kept coming. And they were good calls that sent us running all day with our last call 10 minutes before shift change the next day. We had some good medical calls, carbon monoxide call, a forcible entry, two car rollovers... oh... and I saw flame. One was just a pile of rubbish some guy was illegally burning in his backyard and another was a grassfire.... it wasn't a fire fire but man, it spanned about 30 feet wide and ten feet hight and it was sure pretty lighting up the night. I wanted to hold hands and dance around it like a night druid but the guys would have thought I lost it. But secretly, I know they wanted to do the same cuz firefighters just love flame.

sistas

Everyday I am meeting more and more women who are applying to become firefighters. They are intelligent and well-read women who are choosing a blue-collar career. That says something amazing about this job. Although we are not performing brain surgery, we do need to think quickly and react within seconds to a crisis. Managing water flow off the tower as a ladder operator does require skills of a mathematician and a touch that is both delicate and tough. I think women have an innate sense of balancing both sides. When I was hired, there were less than ten women in a department of close to seven hundred. Now we are close to two dozen so it's nice to see the sisterhood growing. :)

I still find the physical and mental aspect of the job challenging every day. Especially as I get older lol... the body doesn't respond the way it used to. And mentally, some of the stuff you see can haunt you for life. I know some guys with post traumatic stress disorder that ended their careers. :( Perhaps because we are women, and letting our feelings show is more accepted makes us more immune. I'm not sure though... these disorders tend to build up over time and what you saw or experienced 10 or 20 years ago may resurface. Some experiences can be pretty grisly. I turn 40 next month and hope to put in at least another 15 years in this career. I will stay on the job as long as I can perform it as effectively as I can today. The stats aren't out yet since women haven't been in the fire business that long yet but I have a sense that our careers might be shorter lived simply due to the nature of our physiology, menopause and all those lovely things. I hope I'm wrong though. I find that I have never been more tired in my life now that I am a mom but these are the challenges that make me tougher I guess. It's been 9 years on the job and although I feel stronger it takes me longer to recover.

I love it when gals get hired. It brings a different vibe to the crew. My crew is amazing and are very accepting of me. We are like family and I love them to bits and we would give each others lives to each other both on and off the job. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and as a group gel nicely and not a day at work goes by without us laughing our heads off. I'm one of the lucky ones. Some of the dinosaurs out there hate working with women and can make life a living hell.

Enjoy the process ladies. The beauty is in the journey and it's one helluva ride :)

always there

There's a firefighter colleague who is going through some pretty difficult things in his personal life. I feel at a loss what to do. I know how to console a hurt toddler with a blankie and some milk, and I can wipe away my pre-schooler's tears over a broken toy and do my best to fix it with some glue. But my fireman friend, I can't patch his hurt with a Dora the Explorer band-aid... not even the strongest duct tape can mend his wounds. I could try to say all the right things but would end up sounding stiff and trite. I could hand him a beer but you can't do that at work. I could give him a hug but that's such a girl thing to do at the firehall and, it would embarrass him. Instead, I say we're going to shoot hoops out back and it gets him smiling a bit because I look like a drunk chicken because I really suck at basketball. Thankfully for the two of us we were saved by the bell.... because the alarm goes off. There is nothing like riding in the truck on the way to a call to make you feel needed, wanted, and that you make a difference in this sometimes all too confusing world. Those moments of focus when you're at an emergency, make you forget about time and space and even forget the turmoil of whatever you're going through. And maybe, just maybe, after the call, whatever crisis is happening in your personal life, it doesn't hurt as much. The beauty of our job is that even though few words are spoken at times of personal difficulty, there is a crew of guys and gals who will circle the wagons and be there ready to do anything they can to help when the time comes because we're family. Hang in there buddy. xo

in wonderland

I didn't realize this morning as I was climbing onto the truck that I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat until one of the guys wondered out loud how I could be smiling on the way to an emergency. To clarify, I'm not smiling because someone or something is in distress. Rather, I'm smiling from ear to ear because I am just plain old happy to be here. I can honestly say that I love the job more today than the day I was hired. The teamwork, the challenges, the sense of family, and the sense of belonging gets better and better with each year that goes by.

A friend of mine just found out he was hired and he too is grinning. He should be proud since there were over two thousand applicants for just over a dozen positions. So welcome aboard... you'll soon see how great this job is and is almost impossible to put into words the joy that comes with it. Congrats!

not so black and white

Firefighters are categorized in the beginning of their careers as white or black clouds. Those soon-to-retire want to work with a white cloud because shifts are quiet with them on board. And the wheels of the truck may not turn at all. Black clouds however attract calls and chaos... multiple alarm fires, trauma calls, major rescues, you name it... a black cloud will keep your crew busy. I was a black cloud up until I had my children. I can't tell you how many fires and major accidents and medicals we attended. But it was hot, and sweaty, and dirty.... and I LOVED it. Now that I've been back at work for almost three months, I still have yet to see flame... which I find pretty unnerving since that is usually a signal that the storms are brewing. Perhaps it is the Big Gal upstairs way of keeping me safe but I'm a firefighter. Like a fish needs water, I need fire. Ok.. maybe not a big ass fire. But a medium ass one would be just fine by me. ;)

station placement

I dare say it is the luck of the draw as to which platoon, station, and shift you are placed once you graduate from fire training. I'd like to think that they place you according to your skills, location from home, potential chemistry with the rest of your crew but I am not sure they do. I know they shuffle people around if there's a big problem but generally it's 'get along, we're not here to babysit your personality conflicts'. I also know that they have never put two women on the same crew.

Some guys love being at the high call volume station. I personally don't. The older I get, the less resilient I become at recovering from a sleepless night of running around. The way I look at it is we are all paid the same amount regardless of how many calls we respond to. And often these high volume stations respond to false alarms more than anything. Super slow stations are great if you're headed for retirement but it's not a great place to gain experience. The key I think is to be somewhere in between.

I love my station and shift. We're a 2 truck hall so more toys to play with and more firefighters to share ideas with. We're near the lake, major highways, and we have different types of building structures... low and highrise, commercial, and residential, nursing homes, and schools. As such, we gain experience with medicals, water rescue, extrication, and of course, different modes of attacking a fire. The only thing that makes me a bit nervous about being at this station is that it's coined 'chemical alley'. There are some petrol and paint refineries, factories that make chemicals that I am not able to pronounce but know that they are extremely toxic. A few years ago one of the refineries a few miles away literally blew up. We were sitting in station when the concussion hit and it felt like a Mack truck drove into the side of the station. I have never seen fireballs and flames like I saw that evening. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit scared at that call but I think being a bit frightened keeps you aware and safe. Thank goodness I have a crew that I completely trust to watch my back at a call. When it all boils down, all that really matters about this job is coming home safe and sound to our families the next morning.

as the red light turns

sigh..... I had completely forgotten how some days can be totally sucky at the firehall..... when there's more bickering and nattering than hens in a hen house. It's a case of where boredom breeds contempt. Or cabin-fever, or February blahs. I'm not exactly sure. But I am starting to dread shift change when we tag off with the next crew. There are four shifts (A, B, C and D platoon) that rotate through the week and inevitably, when there is a lull in calls the bickering starts. If one shift decides to move the cutlery to another drawer or rearranges the condiments in the fridge it invariably upsets the apple cart. There are shift wars on the time of day the trucks should be washed, how they're washed, and if a chamois or a squeegee should be used. The blame game gets started (instead of trying to find a solution to the problem) if a pry axe goes missing from the trucks or the fuel gauge is below acceptable levels. Sadly, it's usually just one or two guys who like to stir the hornet's nest and are so moody you'd think they were going through man-opause. Someone has been leaving the toilet in the women's washroom a filthy mess and I wish I had the balls to leave crazy glue or itching powder on the seat... so that arse will be stuck there for all of eternity and once he does get unpried he'll have a rash so bad he won't be able to sit down for days. Yesterday's shift-change was crappy with all the drama, but I am thankful that the boys on my shift have my back and will jump to defend me if anyone makes a snarky comment about me.

Sigh... I guess firefighters are not above human-nature and we can't escape the dynamics of being in a big 'family'. I hope it's really busy with calls in the next while so we can just focus on what really matters... having fun at work, and if we're lucky, maybe save a life.